THE 15 BELIEFS THAT STOP YOU FROM LEARNING - COACHING GUIDE

In the book “Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth”, author Amy C. Edmondson describes the learning zone as the high-performance zone. This is the zone where people can collaborate, learn, and get complex work done. In a VUCA world, high performance occurs when people are actively learning as they go.

This article is about the beliefs that hinder people from learning. There are 15 beliefs described here and they are termed as “enemies of learning”. I learnt about these beliefs while doing my ontological coaching course under Newfield and have used these actively for my own coaching work. I felt that these beliefs can be used powerfully to spark transformation and can be used as a guide for coaching conversations.

I have added in my own understanding and elaborations about what these 15 beliefs are so that readers can benefit further.

1. Unwillingness to admit “I don’t know”

This was one of the dominant beliefs that I had to address for myself. For me, this belief is closely tied to a common mindset: “not knowing is a sign of weakness”. Imagine a person who habitually is unwilling to admit to himself “I don’t know”. For this person, the space for curiosity closes up over time. Learning is hindered. There is an ongoing assessment that he or she already possessed the information and knowledge needed for a particular situation.

Conversely, people who are naturally curious often dwell in a “I don’t know” headspace. In this space, the brain actively look for new knowledge, information and pathways.

I observed that this unwillingness to admit “I don’t know” is common among leaders and managers who feel that leadership competency is closely tied with “knowing”. Any sign of “not knowing” can jeopardize power and influence so to admit “I don’t know” is a huge barrier.

2. When you don’t know that you don’t know but act as if you do

This particular enemy of learning centers around “acting” in a way to make others perceive that we know. The focus for such an individual is on making sure his or her responses and actions do not show the “lack of knowledge or understanding”. There is little priority on learning about the unknowns. This belief can also be possibly tied to the popular idea of “fake it till you make it”. There is an ongoing practice to produce an answer in every situation and to act as if one knows a solution even when he or she does not. Overtime, this practice of faking lowers a person’s ability to be truly curious. The person’s brain is usually busy trying to come up with answers so as to be seen as one who knows. There can be multiple reasons why people choose to fake. The fear of “not looking stupid in front of others” is one idea.

3. Unaware that we have blindspots

Do you deliberately consider points of view shared by others? Do you intentionally reflect on what could be your blindspots? Do you actively gather feedback and pondered over why those feedback were given? These questions could help you discover if you are aware that we live in blindness.

When one is unaware that a person can have blindspots, the priority is often on justifying and defending one’s views more than considering other perspectives.

I observed that this phenomenon is common for people who experienced some level of success and live with an assessment that there is nothing much more to learn (since they have already experienced success). They tend to be confident in their abilities to perform and deliver results. They might not be conscious of how they are coming across to others. They can be less sensitive to power dynamics and less sensitive to how others who are less experienced, less privileged, less resourced, are feeling.

4. “I should already know”

Is this an internal talk that you have after you made a mistake? There is a tendency to beat yourself up rather than being curious to learn (after a mistake is made). This belief unfortunately hinders learning that can take place from a setback. Instead, the belief focused the individual towards self-blame. During a setback, this belief triggers an emotional response (usually negative) and generates negative thoughts for the individual.

The possible assessment held by is “why am I so stupid? I should have known better!” Such an assessment is prevalent in cultures where speed and efficiency is worshipped. Failures are amplified and there is an assumption that if people are of a particular status, position, experience, success should be “in the bag”. There is little tolerance to embrace failures. “I should already know” comes from the belief that because of past experiences gained, success is to be expected.

5. “I have to be clear about everything, all the time”

Have you met people who you feel are “control freaks”? They ask many questions and often demonstrate their insecurities and anxieties through the extensive amount of questions asked.

The belief centers around “the more information I get, the more certain I will become.” This leads one to be obsessed with information finding to handle uncertainties. Unfortunately, having information (knowledge) and processing information (learning) are two separate distinctions.

This belief focuses a person towards an excessive search for information and often hinders a person from learning how to handle uncertainties and change. This was evidently seen during the Covid context. The fears and anxieties lead many to find out as much information as they possibly can, hoping that the information can bring a sense of control.

When there is an assessment that everything can be managed and be under control (with enough knowledge), a sudden or surprise change (leading to many unknowns) usually triggers a negative emotional response such as panic, fear or anxiety. The negative emotion subsequently shuts off the neocortex part of the brain. This limits the ability for the brain to learn and find new pathways to respond to changing circumstances.

6. Forgetting the domain of emotions and its impact on learning

People living with this belief give little regard to the emotional context surrounding learners and how emotions influence the effectiveness of learning. Researcher and Author Amy C. Edmondson wrote that when a person feels psychologically safe, it shapes the propensity to engage in learning behaviors, such as information sharing, asking for help, or experimenting”

Parents (including myself) are the big culprits, often rebuking and dishing out knowledge at the same time while the child is emotionally affected. There is little awareness that the child has very limited ability to retain what is being shared. Rather, the child remembers the trauma of the “scolding received” and remembers how the parent made the child feel. As learners, our ability to learn is largely connected to how we are feeling at the moment of the learning.

There are also many cultures that hold strong beliefs that emotions often lead to unfavorable and unwise decisions. The cultural belief is that we are to shut our emotions down to have improved performances. “Men do not cry” is the classic belief that illustrates this enemy of learning. Rather than tap into the emotion (such as sadness and what the sadness could be revealing) as a source for learning, the focus is on shutting off the emotion to conform to cultural behaviours. Leaders who ignore the domain of emotions are observed to have very limited leadership effectiveness.

7. Distrust

A teacher walks into the room and you immediately assess that you will not learn much from this teacher. Whatever the reasons might be, distrust is a big enemy of learning. It is important to be aware if we are generally more trusting or less trusting. That has implications on our ability to learn from others, from our experiences or from our failures. If you are someone who perhaps acknowledge that you are easily skeptical and less trusting in nature, this could be an area to be watchful.

In the working world, trust and distrust are major contexts, the backgrounds out of which actions (or non-actions) spring. As more collaborative and coordinating work are being demanded across organizations, the theme of trust is a great indicator to assess how teams are learning, innovating and performing.

8. Confusing “knowing” with “knowing about”

Will you want to learn swimming from someone who cannot swim or learn driving from someone who does not have a driving license? The response might be obvious but we can be easily confused by those who know and those who simply have lots of opinions about a subject.

Many are led to believe that they have learnt a lot because they know so much details about a particular topic. This confusion is often made worse by the vast amount of information that can be found on the web. Anyone can be an “expert”.

Do you notice if you are happy with simply having lots of information about a subject? Do you act on the knowledge you have gained?

9. Addiction to novelty

Are you one of those who moves quickly towards things that are novel or new? Are you easily bored by doing the same thing again and again? It has been researched and observed that the road to mastery on a particular skill or competency often includes seasons of plateau. The grind to practice something over and over again creates grit and patience and ultimately mastery. The one who moves on too quickly out of boredom misses the boat.

You might want to notice if you move on quickly from one thing to another. While there is seemingly nothing wrong with this practice, it does create a learning habit that might potentially stop you from experiencing deep personal transformation.

10. Addiction to answers

There is a common perception that not knowing the answer makes a person feels unintelligent. For most jobs, people are paid to find answers. The addiction to answers however can be a big stumbling block to learning.

When efficiency is prized above innovation, one prioritizes answers over questions. Yet, often it is the curiosity zone where questions are asked that most of the learning takes place. It is often observed that when one chooses to stay in curiosity a little longer rather than reacting, greater learning usually takes place.

I invite you to practice staying in the curiosity zone for a tad longer even when you feel that you already have an answer.

11. Not granting permission to be taught

“Who are you to tell me what to do?”

A sense of entitlement can often hinder us. Have you felt like you have spent more time researching on a subject or you have more experience in a particular area and therefore reject learning from others (especially when you believe they are unworthy)?

Ego is often a big hindrance to one’s capacity to learn. Enough said.

12. Making everything overly significant or trivial

To make a mountain out of a molehill was a term coined when a person makes too much of a minor issue. We might even say such a person is over-dramatic. This person could be habitually bursting into tears, having anger outbursts or spiraling into a chain of negative thoughts.

The challenge here is when such a person regularly assigns tremendous weight to something that has happened and makes a big drama, there is little emotional space left to engage learning. In this context, some form of lightness is helpful. The ability to laugh at oneself is a big friend of learning.

Making everything overly trivial also hinders learning. Have you met those who are unwilling to let the conversation get serious enough to get to the real issues? Conversations usually stop at the superficial level. There is a habit of deflecting (usually through humor) when something important is about to be revealed.

13. Living in permanent assessments or judgments

Have you had such a strong opinion about something or someone that make others feel like it’s unlikely for you to accept another point of view? Not being aware that we hold what is essentially an opinion as a Truth (or an assertion) can hinder us from learning. There is little or no space to perhaps hold a counter perspective in tension.

“He is always so full of himself.”
”The situation will never change”.
”What’s the point of trying when we will end up getting hurt ourselves?”

If your language and internal thoughts often reflect any of these statements above, this could be an enemy of learning (unconsciously) that you might be holding.

14. Living in the belief “I cannot learn, given who I am”.

I observed this commonly in two kinds of people - those who consider themselves as experts and those who see themselves as “stupid” in a particular field.

There is a distinction between a Master and an Expert. The Master stay out of the “I know the answer zone” as long as possible. An Expert stay in the “I know the answer” zone as long as possible. Individuals who feel a need to maintain the public identity of “being an expert” in a particular field are often in danger of not asking the questions necessary to open up learning.

When someone feels “stupid” in a particular field, the person often generates an identity (subconsciously) to maintain that they are right in their assessment. “I can’t dance; I am bad at math; I suck at public speaking” etc are the common beliefs that people generate to reinforce the assessment of their “identity”.
To let go of the belief we have of ourselves can be rather painful especially when we have held on to this belief for a long time. Letting go fully means we have to act against the belief (and might end up with results that might make us uncomfortable). I assess that I can’t dance. When I eventually did a dance in front of a group of friends, it actually felt freeing. I had a good laugh at myself. I also felt I had a breakthrough.

15. Forgetting the body as the domain of learning

In many countries, there is a common perception that learning occurs when a person gains understanding. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth.

For most things in life, learning occurs in the body more than in the head. When there is no practice, there are no new results.

Whether it is using excel, doing slides on powerpoint, cooking, driving, swimming, cycling, public speaking, listening, negotiations, selling etc, only practice brings new results.

An active listener is one who practices listening and navigates the challenges involved rather than one who has completed courses on active listening. Huge difference.

Which of these are your top 3 enemies of learning?

Perhaps, speaking to a trusted friend, mentor or coach could help you unblock some challenges to learning.

Thank you for your patience in finishing this article. Hope this article creates a reflection for you as much as it did for me.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observers of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.