What's in a Teacher?

I have always admired what teachers do. I married a teacher, and I have so many good friends who chose this vocation.

As a Gallup certified coach in Singapore, I also have the added privilege of working with many school leaders and teachers, conducting Strengths-based Leadership Workshops for teachers and partnering with them in conducting Strengths-based student development programs. 

Being a teacher is a high calling. To many Singaporeans, the profession entails imparting knowledge and developing the students’ potential.

But to me, it’s so much more than that.

The long hours, the intense marking of scripts, the pressure of managing a group of vastly different (and easily distracted) students every day, and the increasing administrative workloads make this vocation an extremely challenging one.

In fact, many teachers suffer burn-out because of the intense day-to-day demands. I’ve often heard first-hand the challenges faced by teachers, and I’ve grown to develop much respect for these teachers.

As we celebrate Teachers’ Day this week, I’m asking myself this question: “What’s in a teacher? What kind of strengths do teachers in Singapore have?”

Driven by that question, I took some time to compile data on different teachers in Singapore. I’ve coached almost all of them or conducted Strengths-based Leadership Workshops for. 

In this analysis, I look into a sample size of 1,200 teachers spanning 30 different Singaporean government schools, including primary, secondary, and junior colleges.

What were my findings? 

Amongst all the teachers I’ve worked with, the Responsibility talent theme is the most common. Out of the sample size of 1,200, 39% of them had the Responsibility theme in their Top 5 profiles.

The second most common strength is the Learner theme, coming in at 33%.

From there, Relator, Connectedness, and Harmony are the next most common themes (in that order). These three StrengthsFinder themes are found amongst 26-27% of the teacher population. (The difference in percentages was so small as to be negligible, although a larger sample size might reveal a greater disparity.)

On the other end of the spectrum, the rarest strength amongst Singaporean teachers is the Competition StrengthsFinder theme. Only 1% of the teachers in the sample had this theme.

The second rarest strength is the Significance StrengthsFinder theme, coming in at 2%.

What does this data tell us about teachers in Singapore?

1. Singaporean teachers are dedicated and committed.

This is evident from the Responsibility theme. This finding comes as no surprise, given what I’ve observed on a regular basis.

The high sense of ownership drives many teachers to have a deep dedication to their work. Pushing hard (often to the point of working on weekends) is incredibly normal to many teachers. The dedication to impact students often means going the extra mile too.

Married to a teacher wife whose number 1 strength is Responsibility, I often observe how this deep sense of dedication plays out. I have seen many times how she went beyond her duty to help her students with other aspects of their lives (beyond the academic portion). I imagined that many teachers are doing the same. There are so many stories I have heard from friends recounting how different teachers have impacted their lives. With my Responsibility strength ranked at number 22, I'm amazed at how powerful the deep sense of psychological ownership can be.

I think we should all celebrate the fact that as a nation, Singapore is full of dedicated teachers! 

READ: USING STRENGTHSFINDER AS A TEACHER

2. Singaporean teachers embody lifelong learning.

When we talk about Singapore’s vision to cultivate a “Learning Nation,” these are people who truly walk the talk. This comes from the strong Learner theme within the demographic.

I am also mindful that the unique wiring of those with the Learner theme gives them the inclination to pursue this calling as a teacher. Many Learners enjoy the process of learning and they desire to impart their knowledge and skills to others as well.

I learnt a lot about Learners by observing my wife in action. Her motivation to make sure our kids pick up knowledge and skill sets from a very young age sets her apart from me (I'm quite low on the Learner theme). She spends quite a bit of time learning about how she can create better activities for the kids to learn more effectively, as well as creating platforms for the kids to pick up new knowledge and skills. This is in stark contrast to me – I do enjoy learning, but am often not very intentional about it. With the combination of Responsibility and Learner as her top 2 strengths, I’m thankful and assured that the teachers in our nation take extremely high ownership of their own learning and those of the kids.

I can safely conclude that the MOE mission of cultivating lifelong learners is a corporate mission that resonates deeply with our teachers. With Learner as one of their top themes, it’s more of an intrinsic desire than a job that needs to be done. Thank God that we have so many educators who have the Learner theme! 

3. Singaporean teachers build deep lasting relationships.

This is a result of having such a large group of teachers possess the Relator theme.

Relators are those who build deep and lasting relationships. In a world where we are experiencing increasing number of broken families, some of the deep friendships that the teachers have forged with their students will make a huge lasting impact. I believe many of the Singapore teachers will look back and realized the trust and belief they give to their students will empower them to choose the right path.

Relators also value authenticity. This finding tells me that in the development of students, teachers will inevitably challenge and teach students to embrace the full measure of their own unique identities rather than trying to make them be like someone else.

With the growing increase of a narrative telling young people to pursue a quick shot at stardom, this trait is especially important, in my opinion. We, as a nation, need teachers who can help young people combat the lure of trying to be like their idols. We need teachers who can model authenticity to young people. Relators have that gift.

4. Singaporean teachers see the bigger picture behind their individual work.

There is a greater purpose and meaning to this vocation. This comes from the Connectedness theme. Teachers are not merely raising the quality of students. They are building a nation. They are equipping the future generations of Singapore.

It’s said that it takes a village to raise a child. The teachers with Connectedness probably understand the depth of such a phrase. There is now more and more emphasis on collaborative work with different stakeholders to help strengthen the development of our youth. There are more parent dialogue sessions. There are more internship arrangements with companies and different industry partners.

I am very encouraged to find so many school leaders and teachers who are willing to partner with us to impact the lives of the students. Rather than simply seeing us as vendors providing a service, many teachers view us as partners who also contribute to the work of building up our future generations.

It is heartening to see so many teachers with this theme. We need teachers who are gifted in connecting the dots. Rather than seeing education as a pursuit of paper qualifications, this finding tells me that our teachers are driven to help young people understand the impact of education on the different areas of their lives! That is worth giving thanks for!

5. Singaporean teachers embrace the collaborative narrative.

This comes from the Harmony theme. People with Harmony enjoy collaborative work. Rather than tearing ideas down, they seek to find alignment and consensus within the different voices.

In a world dominated by "I," "me," and "mine," it is so important that our future generations have teachers who can emphasize the "we" and "us" and what it means to work closely with others.

It is said that the increase of technology usage and social media has a direct impact in lowering the level of social skills of our future generations. I am glad to find that so many of our teachers are hard wired to seek for consensus and collaboration. This tells me that it will be natural for many teachers to teach and model teamwork and community building for the students. That will be such an important aspect moving forward. Our teachers are armed with the strength to counter the individualistic culture through the Harmony theme.

Other than building a collaborative narrative, people with Harmony are also people who desire to bring peace. In a world where racism is still a norm in many nations, we need teachers who can help the young cultivate a sense of respect for people regardless of race, language or religion. The lack of racial harmony has wrecked many nations. I’m thankful that a large group of our Singapore teachers intrinsically value peace and collaboration.

Concluding thoughts: After highlighting the 5 most common strengths found among our teachers, I discovered something interesting about the other spectrum. While there is a sizeable number of Singaporeans with the Competition StrengthsFinder theme, only 1% of our teachers have this theme.

This tells me that the teachers in Singapore are not likely to be obsessed with benchmarking. While the current system puts a certain pressure on students to go all out in pursuing stellar academic results, our Singaporean teachers might not enjoy such a system. There has been a gradual shift in the focus by MOE to move away from giving too much emphasis to the academic successes of our students. I’m guessing many of our teachers are quietly smiling in their hearts.

What are your thoughts?

Do you resonate with the findings? I'd be happy to hear your thoughts!

Regardless, join me in thanking all the teachers in Singapore for their dedication and passion to invest in the young and helping them to be "Future-Ready!" 

 

Worship In Our Workplace: 7 Practical Ways

As a former full time church worker, I used to lead worship in my church as well as oversee the Youth Ministry Worship team from Church of Our Saviour, Singapore. Worship is a topic that I have always been very interested in. When I speak to different Christians on what worship is, I get a variety of responses. There are different perceptions on what worship is about.

My Senior Pastor, Daniel Wee, once spoke about what true worship is: an act of love, a burnt offering, something we give because we love God and we can anticipate His pleasure. That resonated with me.

As an entrepreneur and professional coach, I desire to take this idea of worship deep into the work I do. Often, I think about how I can listen to my clients without judgment. I think about how to hold space for them to share safely and openly. I think about how I can engage in difficult conversations with gentleness, courage and compassion. Whenever I run the CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) workshops for clients, I think about how to be a blessing to each participant. In short, I am constantly thinking about how I express my worship to God through my work. 

I am writing this article to share my thoughts and reflections on how I have taken this idea of worship into my my work as an executive and team coach through simple and practical ways.

The bible tells us to love God with all our heart, soul and mind. We are also called to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. One of the most straightforward ideas of worship lies in loving our neighbour - being that good Samaritan to the wounded man. We can anticipate that God will be glorified and delighted when we give our best to love our neighbours at work.

So, how can we worship God through loving our neighbour in our workplace?

1. Intentionally create space to relate

Because our God is a relational God, our worship must therefore be reflected in an active lifestyle of loving our neighbours. Many Christians are content to accept the idea of worship as mainly to give our best piece of “work” to God. This perspective must be challenged.

As Christians, we must be intentional in loving others. Especially in Singapore, where busyness is the norm, it is often challenging to create space to love. For me, loving means being intentional to listen to others. It is creating a capacity in our hearts to listen to others’ needs. It is carving out time for others. It is finding ways to reduce the end-to-end busyness so that we can have time to attend to others, to help when there is a need. Most Christians do not find it hard to help others when they have time to spare. It is when they are so packed with activities (this includes ministry activities) that they end up neglecting real needs.

Often, fulfilling experiences can come out of simple but deep conversations with a fellow colleague. My wife, Michelle, recently shared with me a delightful experience she had. It was her simply having a deep conversation on a bus ride home with her colleague. One of the most enjoyable things at work for me was to make time to connect with different coaches on a 1 on 1 basis. Coaches also need support and I intentionally choose to be a support to other coaches as well as therapists.

2. Show Grace when it is least expected

Grace is extravagant. Grace is the idea of the Father eagerly waiting for the prodigal son to return home and to give him the best when the son least expects it. Grace is that gift when a person least expects one.

Interestingly, I have noticed that people seem to remember the moments when someone at work goes the extra mile to help with a kind deed. That is love in action. That is extending grace; going beyond what is expected, beyond the “this is my job” mentality. Over the years, I've lost count of the times my colleagues showed me what practical grace is about. 

When we are upset and feel like doing something that resembles a tit for tat, pause and take a deep breath. Another way to show grace is to respond in the opposite spirit. Respond in love and kindness. Do something in love for that person who might not deserve it.

I'm thankful that I am often reminded to extend grace because of how others have treated me.

3. Pray for our co-workers

There is no better Kingdom-minded way of worshiping God in our workplace than by infusing prayer into every part of our work.

Praying for a client, a co-worker at the right moment when we sense that something is weighing on their hearts is a powerful way of obeying the Spirit’s prompting. One of the ways of being led by the Spirit is to be mindful of the opportunity to minister to others through prayer.

Needless to say, we need to first ask for permission to pray for the individual. The person might respond with a simple “yes and thank you”. Our response is to pray and believe the work of love is done in the heart of the person by the Holy Spirit. If the individual rejects us when we ask for permission to pray, (in my experience, that almost never happens), that gesture shown is already an act of love.

4. Encourage others with kind words

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

Many may consider that speaking kind words might seem more of a Western than an Asian concept. But, the Bible does encourage us to do more of that.

A practical action would be to catch someone doing something right and to specifically give encouraging words that highlight the right action. Rather than a generic “good job”, be specific and describe the action or attitude. For example, “I saw you restraining yourself when the easier way was to lash out. I thought that was a fantastic response!”

Learning to catch someone doing good is learning to be observant of Christ-like behavior.

5. Help those in trouble

“The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble” Psalm 9:9

Bullying happens frequently at the workplace. How are we responding to bullying in the workplace?

While the answer might not often be straightforward, the one thing we can do is to show concern for those who feel marginalized. Be a listening ear; pray with this person and ask God to replace negative emotions with His compassion. We can also stand up for the injustice when the Holy Spirit prompts us.

6. Honor your leaders

Most of us might take issue with these 3 types of leaders we perceive:

Incompetent leaders

Uncaring leaders

Dishonest leaders

While our perceptions might not reflect the truth, they affect our attitudes and our responses.

Honoring the incompetent leader means employing a Christ-like attitude to serve them as followers. Find ways to build them up rather than tear them down. Think about what they are good at rather than what they are bad at. Play to our leaders’ strengths. Eventually, we reap what we sow when we become leaders ourselves. Followership is just as important as leadership. Our ability to follow reflects our heart attitude.

Honoring the uncaring leader means we respond in kindness and compassion. Rather than complaining about their lack of love and care, we initiate and show kindness to these leaders through small acts of love, encouraging words and prayer.

Honoring the dishonest leader does not mean agreeing with malpractice. Honoring means giving value to the person rather than the behavior. This means that we learn to see with the eyes of compassion and believe that God will be the merciful judge. We pray for wisdom to find ways to influence. We pray for courage to reject any dishonest dealings. We pray for restraint from bad mouthing our leader and try our best not to speak ill of a person whom Jesus passionately loves.

7. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. Many of us find it difficult to apologize and say sorry. It is often even harder to release forgiveness to those who have hurt us. True worship teaches us that the surrendering of our hearts is pleasing to God. Releasing forgiveness to a person is saying to God that we surrender to His sovereign plans and we believe in His amazing grace. Forgiveness is a powerful act of obedience to God.

We can worship God by practicing forgiveness and keeping short accounts. Forgiveness teaches us about the condition of our hearts and reveals our ability to render God as King.

In conclusion… 

These points have come about about from my own struggles in practising the concept of worship at work. I have learnt over the years is that true worship is really about being a living sacrifice. God does not expect us to be perfect. He sees our struggles and He receives our burnt offerings.

*All scripture quotations have been taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB).

Overcoming the Deficit

My 5-year-old son, Lucas often asks me: “Why does 弟弟 (younger brother) have this [toy] but I don’t?” This recurring question caught my attention recently because I could relate it to many similar experiences at work. In my job as a professional trainer helping people discover and apply their strengths, I have often experienced this particular mindset that seems to exist among many who have attended the Gallup StrengthsFinder workshops that I conduct, both in Singapore and also around the Asia region. This mentality expresses itself most naturally by focusing on what we do not have rather than what we have.

I define this as a ‘deficit thinking mentality’.

The ‘deficit thinking mentality’ causes many to be in discontent. I find it interesting, whenever I run training workshops, to observe the different behaviours of my participants and the types of questions that they pose. Those with a ‘deficit’ mindset will more likely than not complain about their lack of strengths and some may even reject their own strengths as they compare themselves with the strengths of others.

Rather than focusing on what strengths they already have and how they can apply them, many choose instead to focus their thoughts on what they do not have, therefore empowering the fear of lack. I have observed that this ‘deficit thinking mentality’ appears to span across both genders, age groups, and even tiers of leadership positions.

In my preparation for 2017, I found myself wondering about the extent to which @@the ‘deficit thinking mentality’ has stopped us from living the abundant life that Jesus has given@@. It is probably reasonable to suggest that there are many Christians who empower this mindset and struggle with the fear of lack as a result. I, for one, am guilty of allowing this fear to manifest in different areas of my life.

I believe that the ‘deficit thinking mentality’ is robbing many (myself included) from experiencing God’s abundant grace and providence in our lives. The Bible talks a lot about this idea of lack, and many passages reveal that it is common for people to struggle with this mindset. One of the earliest passages that clearly highlights this human condition can be found in Exodus 16.

Exodus 16:15-20
When the sons of Israel saw it, they said to one another, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, “It is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat. This is what the LORD has commanded, ‘Gather of it every man as much as he should eat; you shall take an omer apiece according to the number of persons each of you has in his tent.’” The sons of Israel did so, and some gathered much and some little. When they measured it with an omer, he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack; every man gathered as much as he should eat.  Moses said to them, “Let no man leave any of it until morning.” But they did not listen to Moses, and some left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul; and Moses was angry with them.

The passage clearly shows that many Israelites had a fear of lack and gathered more food than they needed. Where did this fear come from? This question is not easy to answer. What seems clearer to me is:  since the early days of biblical history, we humans have struggled with this fear of lack and the ‘deficit thinking mentality’. If we desire to delete the deficit thinking in both our hearts and minds, and trust in God wholeheartedly, then a good question to ponder on is:

“@@How have I manifested the fear of lack in my own life?@@”

As we enter into 2017, wondering about the plans that God may have in store for us for the rest of this year, may I suggest that we start first by giving thanks for all that God has given us - both big and small. I believe that the simple yet powerful solution to counter this fear of lack is in the practice of giving thanks.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

It might be helpful to set aside time to list down all the different things we want to give thanks for. As we do this, we are also intentionally creating capacity in our hearts to draw us back to the heart of our generous Father in Heaven who gives to His children beyond measure. The practice of giving thanks also prepares our hearts for the right posture to put our faith in God as our Provider. Naturally, this process helps us to combat the ‘deficit thinking mentality’ and the natural outcome is often a heart that will also create space to appreciate others.

As we count our blessings, we develop a faith that looks forward with a hope and a future.
How much are you looking forward to 2017? The answer to this question will likely correlate with how much you have been thankful for in 2016. If you haven’t done so already, start preparing for the rest of 2017 by writing down a whole list of things you can give thanks to God for today!

Wishing everyone a blessed year ahead!

This article was first published on the COOS website.
 

People Engagement in Churches: Making a Positive Connection

*This article was first published on the Church of Our Saviour blog on October 2016.

During my time as a full-time Youth Pastor in Church of Our Saviour Singapore, I sought primarily to help young people shape their inner lives the way I felt mine was shaped – by focusing on what we thought was wrong with human beings. To me, it was about knowing the sinful nature of man and learning to lean on God’s grace and mercy. I have many stories about my own insecurities and fears, and how God has transformed my life.

I have come to realize now, that focusing on the ‘bad’ is not just inadequate but seems to have a detrimental effect especially when engaging people for the purpose of discipleship.

Many of us (myself included) are often quick to point out the shortcomings of others and then offer solutions (inner healing, counseling, etc.) to overcome them. When we do this, we fall short of empowering people to use their gifts and talents. We may be skilled at explaining the sinful nature of man but what about describing what a victorious Christian life should look like? As a leader, I have discovered that revealing the truth about our human weakness is definitely necessary but to focus on those weaknesses is hardly the encouragement that one needs.

An article in the Business Times on 01 August 2016 highlighted that more than half of Singapore companies have experienced staff who are physically present but mentally absent. According to the research, this phenomenon, termed “inner resignation” has been observed in 57 per cent of Singapore businesses.

Employee Engagement is a key issue in society today. It seems that in church, it is no different. It is not a wild idea to suggest that only a small proportion of church members feel engaged.

In my personal observation, our obsession with human weakness has hindered us in engaging and discipling people in the workforce as well as in church. Similarly in biological families, an increasing number of young people feel the disconnect at home because parents repeatedly only highlight what is wrong. Affirmations and encouragements appear to be a rarity.

Here’s another alarming fact. The World Health Organization has indicated that by 2020, depression will be the number 1 disease with the greatest negative impact on the global community. We are well on the way because depression currently sits at number 2 and by 2020, many of our young people will become adults.

There is a growing realization that in order to know how to overcome depression, we must study people who live meaningful, fulfilled and happy lives. Understanding the factors that are needed to help people stay positive has prompted the development of a branch of psychology known as “positive psychology”.

So, what if we focus on what’s right with people?

In the beginning of this year, I realized that I have spent the last 10 years focused on looking at the ‘wrong’ in people. I decided that I needed to realign my focus on what is right instead and I’ve since left ministry to set up my own company. I now help others discover their strengths through programs on employee engagement and student development using a tool called CliftonStrengths (formerly known as Gallup StrengthsFinder).

I pray that a paradigm shift takes place in our mindsets because I strongly believe that helping people discover what’s right with them is just as important as discovering what’s wrong. Looking at what’s right is critical in learning how to live a victorious life.

With this new outlook, how can we journey forward together especially as a church community?

1. Focusing on strengths

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul describes the body of Christ, how we are all made uniquely and how we need one another to function to capacity. Each one of us is empowered with God-given talents and gifts to make a difference and be the salt and light in our community.

By focusing on our strengths, we start to respect the strengths that different individuals have so that we can go deeper in living out the concept of the body of Christ. In this way, we can build a culture of honour within the body of Christ. By learning to appreciate our unique talents, we can serve one another and even respectfully admonish and give constructive feedback. We earn that right to speak because people know what they are appreciated for. By focusing on our strengths, we catch people doing good as opposed to only catching people doing wrong.

“A leader needs to know his strengths as a carpenter knows his tools, or a physician knows the instruments at her disposal. What great leaders have in common is that each truly knows his or her strengths – and call on the right strength at the right time.” – the late Donald Clifton, author of Strengths-based Leadership.

2. Cultivate an attitude of gratefulness

The bible commands us to give thanks to God. Giving thanks changes our inner attitudes and helps us to be positive and hopeful in Christ. In a society where there is so much malice, bitterness and anger, cultivating a thankful heart helps us to appreciate one another. It also allows us to love and to receive love.

Try this exercise of giving thanks, 15 minutes a week. Do this with your family, do this with your friends. Do this for 10 consecutive weeks and observe the effects.

Questions for self-reflection:

• From a scale of 0-10, how aware are you of your own strengths?

• Reflect and think about how you are using your strengths for each of these areas: marriage, family, work, ministry.

• How can you be more intentional in cultivating a thankful heart?

Written by Victor Seet

Discovering Each Other's Best

As a former Youth Pastor, I have spoken to many young people on a very common topic: how to navigate through challenges in Boy-Girl Relationships (BGR) and courtships. When many young people enter into a courtship or relationship, they are often also in a developmental stage of life and growing in maturity. Navigating through challenges in a courtship often takes a toil emotionally and mentally. Many young people often found out after they enter into such a relationship, that differences in personality can be both a blessing or a snare. Much depends on the ability and maturity to manage these differences. 

I interviewed a couple, Samuel Lee and Gloria Pang, while they were in the midst of courtship. They were people who actively sought counsel from mentors, surrounded themselves with peers who can offer them encouragements and looked out for tools that can help them strengthen their relationships. 

One of the tools that Samuel and Gloria actively use is the CliftonStrengths (formerly Gallup StrengthsFinder) tool. They both believe in using the tool as a a means to discover the best of each another. As they used the CliftonStrengths tool for over a year and actively had different conversations (often deep ones) over each other’s strengths, they experienced different benefits on their relationship. When I invited them to share with others their experiences, they graciously agreed. Before we begin, they will like to add some comments about this interview.

• This interview is about how they use the CliftonStrengths tool to grow their relationship. They believe that the tool must be aligned to common values and a commitment and accountability to each other.

• This interview is about how they used the CliftonStrengths tool effectively while continuing to leverage other means to strengthen their relationship. The tool remains one of the different means towards their desired outcome of a strong relationship.

Let’s read what they have to say!

1. How do you feel when you first saw each other's top 5? 

S: Honestly, I felt slightly discouraged initially because of how different our strengths were like (Hahahaha). It was quite obvious as well because we were both accessing the StrengthsFinder App on our phones and the colours shown were so different! They were just the opposite – Purple and Blue (for Gloria) vs Yellow and Red (for mine). I realized our strengths are in so different domains. After reading through her Strengths descriptions, I realized that the CliftonStrengths tool had come up with a language for me to articulate things about Gloria that I knew intuitively but did not know how to articulate or describe.

G: Daunted! I think I didn’t understand the magnitude of us being created and wired so differently until we talked about it at length on various occasions. While the initial reaction was feeling daunted by the implications, I also believe that there is strength and something exciting about diversity. 

2. Out of your partner's top 5 talents, which do you feel often stands out in the relationship and has been a blessing to you? 

S: Gloria’s Relator. Definitely. I think her Relator theme is what helps our relationship grow deeper continuously. I often feel like she’s the safest person I can share things, knowing that she values deep sharing. She also responds well to all my sharing because she understands my feelings intuitively without me needing to elaborate much. We often spend hours talking about everything and anything from my work, our pasts or our dreams.

Being her boyfriend, I enjoy her prioritizing our relationship above many of her other important things and it gives me a sense of joy knowing that our connection grows stronger each day. She also gives me a sense of closeness and I have discovered that the way she trusts me has been a really huge blessing.

G: Probably Sam's Futuristic (watch this Futuristic video done by Samuel) and Strategic talent themes! His Futuristic theme means that he thinks and plans for the future as well as paints positive pictures of what the future can look like. His Strategic theme shows him different options and ways to achieve something. So in our relationship, if we feel stuck or might not have a solution to something, his Strategic theme allows him to think of many options and find the best one that will be most beneficial for us. 

3. What did you discover about each other after taking the Strengthsfinder assessment that you did not previously know?

S: Hahahaha, I think we both discovered that differences did not mean we would necessarily live in conflict and unhappiness but that we could live complementing each other and enjoying the fruits of having 10 different dominant CliftonStrengths themes!

I began to realize that she was someone who viewed the world rather differently from me through her Responsibility theme. Her description says that driven by her talents she would naturally have high standards for whatever she is tasked with and that she would not rest till she had completed the duty given to her. She also would more than likely say yes to new tasks given to her to perform.

That was something we initially had discussions about because I did not understand why despite her schedule being packed as it was, she would still say yes to doing things for people. We had a good talk about it afterwards. I realized that I need to understand that her heart is to do things for the people she loves. This is something I have gotten used to.

I think one of the takeaways for her was realizing that when I talked about the future, I wasn’t just daydreaming but I was really casting a vision. I love giving hope to people (including her) about what the future could be like. Upon realizing I had the ‘Futuristic’ theme, she started being more open to the future plans I have envisioned and shared with her. Because of my Maximizer and Activator theme as well, she realized that these “future plans” can actually become a real possibility.

G: I guess that we are really truly different? Like the lens through which we view the world can be quite different, as well as the way we process, interpret things, what we think about, what we intrinsically value and are excited or energised by. 

4. Which of your talent themes often clash and contribute to the conflicts between the both of you? How did you try to resolve these conflicts? 

S: Initially, my Maximizer theme and her Developer theme would clash often and contribute to conflicts. As leaders serving together in our church youth ministry, while I was focused on choosing the best people for a certain role and job, she would often see the opportunity to grow people. At times we would have differences over how we viewed people because of these two themes. Admittedly though, those arguments have helped both our Maximizer and Developer themes mature.

The other way these two themes clashed was in our behaviours. As a Maximizer, I was a lot more impatient with tasks given because I desired to do things the best way and get great results. For her as a Developer, she was rather patient and knew that things needed time and the people we were mentoring needed time to grow and become better at what they are doing.

We resolved these conflicts by firstly acknowledging that no strength was better than the other and we chose to seek to understand each other’s strengths first. After which we would use our other Strengths to help resolve our differences. For example, whenever there was a time crunch, Gloria would realize that by using her Responsibility theme, the right thing to do would be to get the things done quickly. That will align with my Maximizer and Activator themes. However, if we were looking at a long term project, by using my Futuristic theme, I would understand that growing people and being patient with group members or mentees would require time. This will help align me to her Developer theme.

G: Possibly his Maximizer and my Developer! I think his Maximizer theme often compels him to focus on the best or in achieving the best. At times, that makes me feel that our progress or growth in our relationship is insufficient (which is contrary to the lens of the developer talent). At times, I will misunderstand his Maximizer lens and think that he has a constant discontentment with our relationship. That would also imply and made me feel inadequate in this relationship. 

5. Which strengths do you think you can intentionally leverage more for the strengthening of this relationship? 

S: I think my honest answer would be all the strength we have! But if I have to pick one, I would pick the Strategic theme! In the face of problems and obstacles, I have found that my ability to think outside the box and find alternative solutions helps us to not feel like we are trapped. Through the Strategic theme, I can see the path that would lead us to success and I will discard options that are less useful so that in confusion or crisis, we can still move forward!

G: Relator and Belief themes, I think my Relator theme allows us to build depth in our relationship. My Belief theme helps me by developing new convictions and values in the way I relate to Sam. This can be about relationships in general, or through learning new things about each other in ways that could be powerful. For example, a belief that conflict resolution rather than evasion is important for the relationships allows me to overcome my preference for the latter while honouring Sam’s preference for the former (and an overall strengthening of the relationship). 

I think I can harness my Developer theme more as well to move beyond merely recognizing the good and progress in our relationship, to communicating the progress. The communication of our progress can be a source of encouragement and affirmation to the both of us. 

6. You went through a CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) workshop session. How did you benefit from the workshop?

S:  I think the workshop was particularly enriching because it helped Gloria and I get to know each other more. Often, misunderstandings happen. To help realize that both persons are actually desiring the same outcome, the knowledge of how both persons are wired is essential! As our StrengthsFinder Coach, you provided a safe environment for couples to explore questions and dialogues that helped a lot. One of the things we learnt was our peak experiences (situations that we used all 5 of our dominant strengths for a situation and experienced great success). Hearing Gloria shared about what brought her fulfilment made me realized that I did not understand her CliftonStrengths themes and I had sometimes unintentionally poured cold water on something she was celebrating. That exercise was fun and simple yet deep and insightful! I would highly encourage the CliftonStrengths workshop to all couples!

READ: USING STRENGTHSFINDER FOR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS

G: I think the workshop was not just useful for me to understand my partner, but also to know learn how my strengths can be used to be a blessing to each other! I found the workshop very good! 

Concluding thoughts: One of the key reasons why the CliftonStrengths tool worked powerfully for Samuel and Gloria was because of the intentional way they used the tool for conversations. Those conversations helped to steer their relationships towards growth. I hope as you read about the benefits through this simple interview, you too can be personally encouraged and challenged to have deep strengths conversations with your partner. 

Contact me if you are interested to find out more about Couple Coaching.

Written by Victor Seet

The Blues of not having Blues

"It is human nature to look at what we lack rather than what we have"

I first did my CliftonStrengths (formerly known as Gallup StrengthsFinder) assessment couple of years ago when I was a full-time Youth Pastor in a local church in Singapore, specialising in youth training and development. After finishing the online CliftonStrengths assessment, I had Activator, Communication, Strategic, Achiever and Command in my top 5 results. I took time to read through the descriptions of each talent theme. There were mixed emotions when I got my results. I was a little skeptical and I had many questions running through my mind.

"How can it be that I do not have any strengths in the relational building or the blue domain?" I was a little concerned. (To be honest, "a little" is an understatement). I had a job that requires me to understand people's needs, to care for others genuinely and to reach out to new people on a regular basis. What that meant to me was that I needed very strong relational abilities in order to excel in what I do. I did my own research: watching many different StrengthsFinder videos and reading many different StrengthsFinder articles. I was really hoping that my concerns will be unfounded.

"It is not just human nature to look at what we lack, it is also second nature to reinforce that mindset by looking at others and comparing."

It became more disturbing when I compared my results with those of my colleagues in church and I saw that they had the strengths that I thought I should have in order to succeed in my role. As someone who spent a lot of time mentoring and training young people, I felt that it was important for me to have CliftonStrengths themes like Empathy, Developer or Relator. I have none. In fact, I have none of the nine themes that were classified under the relationship building domain. These nine are Empathy, Developer, Includer, Adaptability, Connectedness, Harmony, Positivity, Relator and Individualization. How could it be that I was a Youth Pastor in Singapore for so many years without any relational strengths being in my top 5? I began to doubt the validity of the CliftonStrengths Assessment.

Are you one of those who felt the same way as I did after you got your CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) results?

The interesting part came after the emotions have settled and I started to think a little deeper. Have I been successful in my work as a Youth Pastor? Have I been given affirmation and positive feedback on what I did even though I do not have those “strengths” that I thought I should be having? 

• Have I shown to people under my supervision that I care even though I do not have the Empathy theme?

• Have I been an encourager to the youth who were struggling even though I do not have the Positivity theme or the Developer theme?

• Have I been welcoming to newcomers to the church even though I do not have the Woo theme?

• Have I been able to shown to my team that I am a person they can count on even though I do not have the Responsibility theme?
  
  As I reflected, I realized I could say an emphatic “YES” to all of the above. And that is without having a single “blue” strength or CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) themes that belong to the relationship building domain. I realized now that I have somehow innovated my strengths and have reached the outcomes I desired as a Youth Pastor. More importantly, I reached the outcomes using my own strengths in my own unique ways.

Today, as a Coach who has conducted multiple workshops in Singapore and across Asia, I have taught with great passion that it is not so much about the talents we do not have but how we use the talents we have to achieve the goals that we desired:

• A high performing individual can execute even if he does not possess a single strength that falls under the executing domain.

• A high performing individual can influence even if he does not possess a single strength that falls under the influencing domain.

• A high performing individual can care genuinely even if he does not possess a single strength that falls under the relationship building domain (this happens to be me).

• A high performing individual can strategize and ideate even if he does not possess a single strength that falls under the strategic thinking domain.

High performing individuals know what they are very strong at. They use their strengths to overcome their lack or they find ways to manage their weaknesses.

As I strive towards high performance, I now work hard on three key areas:

1. I now focus on my top CliftonStrengths themes intentionally. I make a great effort to reduce the number of times my themes will manifest in the infancy stage (or otherwise known as basement or raw stage). I do that a lot by personal reflection. I actively solicit feedback from those I trust and work with. I try to have a debrief after a conflict occurs to find out what aspects of my behaviour hinders the relationship.

2. I focus on seeking different partners who can help me overcome different areas of my weaknesses. I have specific go-to people (usually 2-3 individuals) for each of my areas of lack that I have identified. For example, I have found some with the Discipline theme and some with the Responsibility theme to help me stay organized. I have found some with the Positivity theme and some with the Empathy theme to give me feedback on my abilities to encourage and care for others.

3. I also intentionally focus on building one attitude - cultivating thankfulness. As I choose to reflect and give thanks regularly, I am often required to focus on the things I have rather than those I lack. I have found that this attitude is an important aspect to developing a paradigm shift from the deficit thinking model to the Strengths-Based thinking model.

Concluding Note: As you ponder about the things I have said above, I will like to leave you with a challenge to focus on your CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) themes, one at a time. Give thanks for each of these themes that you have and ask yourself how you can aim it meaningfully in your professional and personal life.

Written by Victor Seet

Expressing StrengthsFinder in the Unique Singapore Way!

As a Singapore CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) coach, I have always loved to explore how CliftonStrengths as a tool can be customized based on different cultures. Earlier this year, I wrote an article on integrating StrengthsFinder and the Chinese culture. This time round, I hope to share about integrating CliftonStrengths in the Unique Singapore way - using the Singlish language to describe the 34 CliftonStrengths talent themes.  

A little context about this article. It was inspired by the different celebrations that took place in Singapore for the past week. As Singapore celebrated its 51st National Birthday, many will have thought the celebrations will die down quickly. Few will have expected that a days later, the gold medal win by Joseph Schooling in the Rio Olympics brought the whole nation of Singapore into a celebratory mood again! It felt like a second National day celebration!

In Strengths School™ (which I co-founded and since left), the team decides to immerse into the celebrations by spontaneously going into a brainstorming on how the StrengthsFinder language can be expressed using the unique Singlish language. In this very small country filled with diverse races and ethnic groups, our Singlish language is the reason why a Singaporean can be easily recognized by another Singaporean regardless of any location around the world.

After brainstorming, the team created a customized StrengthsFinder Mug for one another, each mug having the unique Singlish description of each other's StrengthsFinder themes (the 1st Singlish StrengthsFinder MUG)! Using this beautiful mug that was created for me, I hope to share my top 5 StrengthsFinder themes in Singlish! 

StrengthsFinder Activator - Chop Chop Curry Pok! 

Chop Chop means to hurry up, to speed things up! Curry Pok is simply a rhyming slang. The idea of speed describes that character trait of an Activator! I think the team in Strengths School™ Singapore will definitely agree that I like to do things quickly. Getting into that momentum is something very important to me. In fact, when Mr Ideation Jason Ho thought of this idea to celebrate with Singapore, my Activator says "AWESOME! Let's do it NOW!"

StrengthsFinder Communication - Wah Can Tok Sia!

This Singlish phrase as understood by Singaporeans, have several meanings. This phrase can be used to describe one who has an ability to talk himself out of a situation. This phrase also can mean one who spoke in such a charismatic and dramatic way to wow a crowd and create an impact. Sometimes, this phrase also describes a chatterbox who goes on and on during a conversation. I think this Singlish description fits the Communication theme perfectly and in describing me! 

StrengthsFinder Strategic - Kia Shortcut

This Singlish phrase means to “take” a shortcut. Singaporeans love being efficient. This phrase was coined because it is very common for Singaporeans to try to find the shortest way possible to get to the destination. In doing so, lots of traveling time can be cut down.  

StrengthsFinder Self-Assurance - Ai Zai

This Singlish phrase means "Be confident". It is a phrase used by Singaporeans to encourage others to be confident (usually before a competition or before an exam) and to let them know that "they can do it!" I personally like this phrase as it describes how a Self-Assurance Singaporean person like myself often draws confidence from deep within by whispering to my inner being "Ai Zai, you can do this!" This pep talk allows me to focus on my inner strengths and overcome the fears that are caused externally.

StrengthsFinder Command - Garang

This Singlish phrase means bold, courageous and fearless. This phrase is often used and heard during National Service, a period when Singaporean males of a certain age are conscripted into the Singapore Armed Forces. The phrase is usually used to describe a certain kind of person who exhibits bravery and fearlessness in overcoming challenging obstacle courses. I personally find that this "Garang" phrase describes my Command theme aptly especially during crises. I often find myself becoming "Garang" and I enjoy rising up to challenges in a chaotic situation. I often find that people get the best out of me in very trying situations. The positive feedback is usually about how my composure leads others forward by giving clarity in directions. I feel a great sense of satisfaction whenever I can help to move people out of a crisis situation, knowing that remaining status quo is like standing on quicksand.

Concluding Note: I am a proud Singaporean and I love the unique Singlish language. I'm also a Singapore StrengthsFinder Coach who is passionate to use the Strengths language to make a difference. It is a great joy for me to integrate the Strengths language with the unique Singlish language and to present the 1st StrengthsFinder Mug (Singapore Edition)! #StrengthsFinderMugSG

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) Relationship Building Domain - A Pair of Singaporean Siblings

Through Gallup's research on the CliftonStrengths (formerly known as StrengthsFinder) assessment, it has been found that for two persons to have the same top 5 CliftonStrengths themes, the probability is about 1 in 278,000. Gallup has also sorted the 34 CliftonStrengths Themes into 4 distinct domains of leadership strength. The domains are: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building and Strategic Thinking. The categories are designed to help leaders think better about how different individuals can contribute effectively to a team.

There was a pair of siblings who discovered they both had the same top 5 themes after they have completed their CliftonStrengths assessment. What is even more astonishing is that both of them had all 5 of their themes in the Relationship Domain, a rare combination of strengths found in the world. While each person is unique and different, we as researchers, are curious to discover how people who are very relational, think and behave. We decided to interview and speak to this pair of siblings from Singapore, Angeline and Pamela Ngui, who are 4 years apart.

READ: 8 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT LEADERSHIP DOMAINS

1) WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU REALIZED THAT YOUR TOP 5 STRENGTHS THEMES ARE ALL FROM THE RELATIONSHIP BUILDING DOMAIN?

A: I felt quite concerned.. Why do all my strengths fall into the blue category? Am I a loser in all the other domains? Is this normal?? I was quite disappointed I guess. My strengths didn’t sound that special to me - “Positivity is a strength? All that’s saying is that I’m good at being an optimist..”, “Empathy? Anyone can have empathy. It’s hardwired into us!”

But it’s alright. After learning more about what my strengths are actually about, I grew to be more comfortable with identifying with them. It’s always interesting to realize how I can link my behaviours and attitudes to the themes I have. (I have yet to unlock the rest of my CliftonStrengths themes and I'm curious to find out what my my top non-blue strength will be)!

P: I was surprised!! I didn't see these 5 as strengths before but I thought it was so cool that I could relate to everything the CliftonStrengths report said!

Honestly, I used to feel like I didn’t really have the strengths that will help me excel because I would see other themes like discipline, responsibility and communication as those that were valued highly, especially in the Singapore schools. And I felt that I lacked a lot in these areas. But I started to realize that my strengths are more than what the world would value. Discovering that my top 5 Strengths themes were all in the relationship building domain has helped me to understand myself a lot better! 

2) WHICH OF YOUR TOP 5 ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF? WHY?

A: I am most proud of my Includer theme. I like that I can usually read social situations to identify the people who could be feeling a bit left out in a group. When I can do something to make that person feel slightly more comfortable, it feels great. I realized it’s something I’ve always felt strongly about. I like how Gallup puts it - “[Your accepting nature] rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important, thus, no one should be ignored.”

I think this extends to my attitude to a lot of other things in life, like being receptive to new things or ideas and not being closed-minded or inflexible. I take pride in being approachable like that. 

P: I'm proud of Positivity because I'm able to encourage people! I enjoy being able to uncover the potential in people and to see the value in people and things. It brings me joy seeing others happy and fulfilled. I feel that Positivity allows me to appreciate and celebrate the small things in life and to be able to share with others this kind of joy too!

Having Positivity also encourages me to go on when things get challenging! It gives me the mind-set that it will be alright if I try. Having the Positivity theme allows me to see the positive outcomes that can come from the challenges I face. Having Positivity pushes me to improve and try new things.

3) WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WORDS THAT YOUR FRIENDS HAVE USED TO DESCRIBE YOU?

A: “You’re good at listening”, “You make people feel appreciated”, “You’re really supportive” - these are some of the things my close friends have said to me. 

P: Friendly, patient and kind. I think people say that I'm friendly because I enjoy meeting new people and finding out more about them. I find it exciting to know more about other people. I think my friends say I'm patient and kind because I like to help others and be there for them. I enjoy listening and spending time with people. I’m someone who would readily help people because I find joy in doing so. Seeing others encouraged and happy makes me feel happy as well.

4) COMPLETE THE SENTENCE. FRIENDSHIP TO ME IS LIKE_________ 

A: taking redbull? Being around people I like energizes me even when I’m dead tired. Friendship to me is also like warming up in a blanket after being rescued from drowning (in loneliness).

P: a treasure chest? Digging up the treasure chest is like starting a friendship – it requires effort. You discover something precious when you continue digging until you find the treasure. And there is something different in each treasure chest. I find friendships precious because I feel that everyone is unique and each friendship allows me to explore more about each person. But friendship also requires effort on both parts - they rely on you for backup just as you depend on them for help. Friends are also there for you to help you grow and to be there for you when you need them. Without my friends who guided me throughout my life, I wouldn't be close to where I am today. As such, I cherish my friendships greatly.

5) HOW DID SOME OF YOUR TOP 5 THEMES HELP YOU TO EXCEL IN SCHOOL? GIVE SOME EXAMPLES.

A: I think having Adaptability helps me a lot in school work. There have been too many times where I would be working on an important project, and a spanner would be thrown into the works, whether it's at a crucial moment or not. I find that usually I don't get stressed about the change in plans but I'm able to focus on what next needs to be done. This has helped me keep cool-headed when everyone around me might be panicking!

P: I just graduated from a junior college in Singapore. During that period, it was extremely stressful. But I think my Positivity theme helped me to go on with a positive mind-set that "I can do it if I try". It spurred me on to work harder to achieve my goals. Every time I was met with a setback, I would tell myself that I just had to try harder. I also saw studying as something enjoyable instead of how I used to see it - as a chore. I felt I could learn so much more from studying too - learning to be more disciplined, to plan my time well.

My other themes like Includer, Developer and Empathy, made me want to look out for my friends and help them too. I always liked to help my friends with anything that they needed help in. That encouraged me to study harder to know my subjects well so I could also teach my friends and impart to them the stuff I know.

READ: SPEED-BASED STRENGTHSFINDER THEME COMBINATION

6) USING YOUR TOP 5, DESCRIBE THE KIND OF LEADER YOU THINK YOU ARE?

A: I don’t know how to command a room’s attention, or put up overt displays of dominance, or the other things that people think leaders typically do. I’d much prefer being on the ground, influencing people through my relationships with them. I think I would be quite invested in each person’s progress, wanting to give advice on how to do things in the most efficient manner, or discussing the best way to go about our tasks. With every person, I’d also try my best to listen to them intently, make sure I’m fully present, to appreciate them in that way.

P: I think I'm a leader who would look out for the needs of the people first - to make sure that everyone is doing alright. I feel that it’s important that no one is left out and that everyone’s voice is heard. And I enjoy hearing the different perspectives from people. 

I like getting to know each individual personally too because I find every person unique. I feel that knowing the people is important as you learn how the people feel and see things in their perspective as well rather than only from a leader’s perspective. Knowing the people, I feel like I’m able to see the potential in them and try to bring that out in them.

7) WHAT ARE SOME OF THE INITIAL THOUGHTS THAT YOU HAD WHEN YOU REALIZED THAT YOUR SISTER HAS THE SAME TOP 5 STRENGTHS AS YOU AND ALL 5 ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP BUILDING DOMAIN?

A: My first thoughts are "Hahaha. That’s so crazy!! Impossible.” I still find it really interesting and pretty amusing that our top 5 are the same. We keep joking to each other that we’re the same person, or that we’re the actual twins in the family (we have 13-year-old sisters who are twins). When I think about who I know Pam to be though, I guess I’m not very surprised that those are her strengths. Pam’s very good at being a friend to people - she has so many people who are fond of her! Now when I think about her strengths though, I realized that they’ve always been so apparent in her daily life! It’s very easy to pick them out even if you’re only just getting to know her.

P: I was really surprised!!! I always thought that my sister and I were quite different but it turns out maybe we are quite similar on the inside?? I never thought we would have the same strengths but only after this, I realized that we might think in a similar way! But I also realized that although we have the same strengths, my sister and I show our strengths quite differently and our same strengths work in a different way. 

8) EVEN THOUGH IT CANNOT BE PROVEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE SOME OF THE FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO BOTH OF YOU BEING ALL "BLUE" AND HAVING THE SAME TOP 5?

A: Hmm I have no idea actually! We didn’t grow up doing a lot of things together and I wouldn’t say that we were exposed to very similar things growing up. My guess is that it’s partly genetic. Maybe our parents brought us to all their social gatherings when we were young, throwing us into social situations right from the cradle haha. We’re both introverts though, so perhaps it’s not so much being put in social situations but rather it’s probably partly due to our mom’s special nurturing touch as well. Thanks Mom, xoxo!

P: I think maybe it's because of the way we’ve been raised and as we’ve grown up together here in Singapore. Also, I've been influenced greatly by my older sister because I’ve always looked up to her. It could also be that since we are the older siblings in a family of five kids, we feel like I should look out for them which grew our relational side. And I think we grew up in an environment where family and relationships are important and being constantly surrounded by people may explain why we’re all “blue”.

Concluding thoughts: Many who are very relational often struggle to believe that their CliftonStrengths themes are talents to begin with. It seems like many of them feel that society often projects an image that certain "strengths" are more valued and these are certainly not the relational ones. However, it is also getting more evident that many organizations (evidently seen in Singapore) have teams that are not performing well and more people are leaving their jobs because of the lack of concern and care by managers and fellow teammates. Teams that thrive, often have strong team members, who use their relational strengths powerfully to glue the team together. It is also often the relationally stronger ones who lift up the morale of others in the team. It is therefore important that each of us start to appreciate in a greater measure that those who dominate the relationship building domain are the ones who really have the "heart". Their desire to love and care makes a big difference in this world!

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Using CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) for Work - Interview with a Counsellor

One of my key areas of work as a coach is in helping people discover how to apply their strengths, both in their professional and personal lives. This article is a continuation of the series on "Using StrengthsFinder for Work". It is an interview done with a Professional Counsellor in Singapore, whom I have the privilege to coach in a 1 on 1 setting. We had some very fruitful conversations regarding her CliftonStrengths (formerly known as StrengthsFinder) results and I had the opportunity to hear her different experiences. 

Chrystella Lo is a trained professional in a girl's home in Singapore. She desires to see young people being transformed and believes in giving hope to those who struggles to believe in themselves. In her free time, Chrystella actively mentors a group of young people and serves as a volunteer in a local church. She enjoys traveling to different countries to learn about different cultures. She also leads overseas expedition trips as part of her desire to reach out to the less fortunate. She has travelled to many countries that include China, East Timor, Malaysia and some countries in the Middle East. Chrystella's top 5 CliftonStrengths themes are Harmony, Analytical, Relator, Developer and Connectedness.

Below is an interview with Chrystella Lo:

1) As a counsellor, how do you feel when you first saw your top 5? 

C: Although I didn't fully understand the strengths descriptions initially, intuitively the words made sense and resonated with me. Seeing that I had 4 of my strengths in the relationship building domain affirmed my desire to work with people. 

2) Out of these top 5 talents, which do you love and which do you feel drive people crazy? Why? 

C: I think my Analytical talent theme drives people crazy because I like to ask questions to discover the root causes instead of simply listening and empathizing. Friends have told me that I tend to frown when they share something with me, and that's not because I'm judging them. I realized I have this expression when I'm thinking and analyzing what others are sharing with me. At the same time, I love my Analytical talent theme as well, because it helps me to be objective and to see both sides of the coin. I like it that this Analytical strength is balanced by my four other Relationship Building Strengths. 

3) How do you feel you use your talents as a Counsellor?  Share some examples.

C: My top StrengthsFinder theme is Harmony, and that's important in the area of goal setting in counseling work. Both my client and I need to have a mutual goal and that this strength helps me to find that common ground when we set goals together. Sometimes, I do feel stuck if there are clear differences in goals. I also use my Analytical talent theme to search for root causes and recurring patterns in order to conceptualize cases. This empowers me to choose the best intervention. As a counsellor, my 'analysis' is continuously developing and there is much more to learn. My Relator gives me the fuel to want to know people very deeply. I do feel refreshed after the deep sharing that occurs during counselling sessions. 

4) How do you think Strengthsfinder can help other counsellors or even your clients?

C: I think that the StrengthsFinder tool helps us to know ourselves better in a very functional and practical way. It helps us to realize why we are more naturally talented in certain tasks and why we naturally struggle in others. I do find that this tool is more than just a personality test. It helps us to understand how we can become more effective and successful in what we do. 

As we instinctively use our talents and strengths in any situation, I think it will be helpful for other counsellors to gain understanding on how they can use their talents and strengths more effectively in the counseling process. The StrengthsFinder tool can also help clients to grow in their self-esteem by discovering what they are naturally good at. To bring it further, when used effectively, the StrengthsFinder tool can help clients gain mastery over certain challenging tasks.  

5) How has this unique combination of your top 5 talents help you achieve something you were proud of? Share with us a peak experience.

C: There was a particularly successful case that I was privileged to manage. One key factor of the success is that all the different organizations (Ministry of Social and Family Development Singapore, Institute of Mental Health, the client's school, volunteers, and parents) I worked with were aligned in the goals and outcome and were all on the same page. I believe it was the successful collaboration that contributed to the success of this case. I felt that my Harmony and Connectedness were used and were greatly delighted. I was also able to develop a personal and genuine friendship with some of these work counterparts and that engaged my Relator. My Analytical theme was used throughout the process of working with this client, as we constantly had to conceptualize the case and adjust interventions based on it's development. My Developer theme was naturally peaked in the whole process of seeing my client grow.

6) What did you discover about yourself after taking the StrengthsFinder assessment that you did not previously know?

C: I realized I had a good job-fit and I enjoyed being a counsellor because all my strengths could be regularly engaged. 

7) You went through the StrengthsFinder workshop that I conducted. How has that session helped you?

C: I found that the face-to-face discussions in the StrengthsFinder workshop helped me to understand my talent themes much more than just reading a description of the theme on my StrengthsFinder report. The sharing and the fun learning in the workshop allowed me to pick up the intricate details attached to each talent theme. Both the StrengthsFinder workshop as well as your personal coaching have helped me to understand my top 5 strengths that were unique to me and to my situation. You have helped me gain very valuable insights on how I can better apply my strengths in my specific work situation. 

In addition, I think a big part of the StrengthsFinder workshop, besides the understanding, is helping us to accept and own our strengths. I know of many people who felt dissatisfied with their top 5 strengths upon receiving the results. The workshops were able to change these peoples' perspectives by facilitating them towards owning their top 5. Personally I do covet other strengths, especially the strengths in the Influencing domain. However, through discussing with you, I think I have gained acceptance of my strengths and I am proud of what I have. Thank you Victor!

I would highly recommend those who struggle with understanding or accepting their strengths to attend a personal coaching session with Victor.

READ: THE POWER OF NAMING AN EMOTION

Concluding thoughts from the Interviewer: It is such a joy whenever I hear people share that they are able to use their strengths at work and feel empowered to do what they are naturally good at. I hope as you read this interview with Chrystella, you too can be personally encouraged and challenged to intentionally think about how you can use your strengths at work. 

Written by Victor Seet