How You Handle Your Weaknesses Shapes Your Workplace Impact

Imagine an F1 driver refusing to adjust his technique despite constant crashes in the last few races. Or a pit crew member who acknowledges his tardiness in changing the tires ibut never seem to improve on his performance. In the high-speed world of racing—and in the workplace—performance isn’t just about talent; it’s about our attitude to adapt, refine, and overcome our weaknesses.

Just like in F1, talented professionals handle their limitations and personal flaws in different ways. Some fine-tune their approaches with humility and grace while others modify their behaviours begrudgingly. Some accept their flaws but couldn’t care more to improve, and others deny their weaknesses entirely.

With the growing popularity of the use of CliftonStrengths assessment in the workplace, more are seeing the impact of overused strengths.

After attending a course on personal mastery, it dawn on me that some work on their perceived weaknesses in lightness while others manage their weaknesses begrudgingly.

Out of the reflection, I wrote this article to explore four types of archetypes. It is an attempt to showi how each archetype views personal flaws, deals with weaknesses and the impact on others.

1. The Enlightened: Accepts personal flaws and intentional to manage weaknesses

These individuals recognize that their strengths can become liabilities when overused. They accept their personal flaws and insecurities as part of being human. Rather than making excuses for their mistakes, they consistently seek to refine and grow. They understand deeply that strengths produce results only in the right context. When strengths are used without consideration of the environment and timing, they easily become weaknesses. Therefore these individuals worked hard to grow their self-awareness and adapt to the dynamic environment. 

The Enlightened sees mistakes as learnings and stepping stones to success. There is a lightness when they share about their mistakes and what they have learned.

Example: Meet Arjun, a project leader in a fintech company. His CliftonStrengths Command talent theme makes him a decisive leader especially in high-pressure situations. He doesn’t shy away from challenges and he shines in crisis. He also knows that his Command theme gives him a certain presence, which can often be perceived as intimidating. When feedback revealed that his directness intimidated colleagues, he didn’t just brush it off. He sought coaching, learned how to balance assertiveness with gentleness and care, and became a leader his team trusted rather than feared.

Impact: The Enlightened creates a culture of growth. Their willingness to receive feedback, inspires others to self-reflect and improve. When leaders are in this category, their teams are engaged, motivated, and feel safe.

2. The Insecure: Resists personal flaws but will seek to improve weaknesses

These individuals struggle with admitting their weaknesses—it often feels like a blow to their ego. They do however make effort to change and improve their behaviours but often stops short to do the deeper work.

These individuals might be unaware in how their resistance shows up to others because of their efforts and sincerity to improve on their weaknesses. There is an unconscious belief that when one’s insecurities are surfaced, one will experience some form of shame. The resistance shows up when one’s insecurities are triggered. The instinct is to hide these insecurities.

For many of these individuals, the characteristics are often similar - responsible, hardworking, caring and they might even go the extra mile. However, away from the visible eyes, the behaviours and the pursuit of results are fueled by the need to hide one’s deep insecurities. Resentment, envy and self-doubt are common companions.

Example: Jia Wei, a senior analyst in a Real Estate company, thrives on her Analytical and Maximizer talents. She dissects data with precision but tends to dismiss others’ ideas too quickly because she feels the ideas are lacking in substance. When colleagues pointed out this specific behaviour, her reaction and body language showed her resistance to feedback. She brushes the feedback aside by rationalizing that she is a person with high standards.

After repeated friction with her team, she tries to improve on her communication but becomes increasingly resentful with those who are resisting her. Unknown to her, her resentment spills out in other areas of interactions.

Impact: The Insecure are often strong contributors at work. They pride themselves in delivering results and have strong ego. What frustrates others are often the lack of awareness in interpersonal dynamics. Their insecurities spilled out in team interactions and contribute to the lack of safety in the team.

3. The Deadweight: Accepts personal flaws but ignores weaknesses

These individuals are aware of their weaknesses but make no real effort to change. They accept their flaws as part of who they are and expect others to work around them. They like others to see their strengths and expect others to ignore their weaknesses. Team members are often frustrated because of the additional work to cover for these people’s inadequacies.

Example: Daniel, a senior consultant in a consulting firm, has Ideation and Strategic as his top talents. He’s brilliant at brainstorming new strategies but terrible at execution. He openly admits, “I’m just not a details person,” and continues to miss deadlines. His team constantly has to scramble to cover for his weaknesses. The lack of effort to improve increases frustration and resentment within the team.

Impact: The Deadweight are often guilty of dragging teams down. While their self-awareness is a small step forward, their lack of action forces others to compensate for their shortcomings. Over time, this erodes team trust and lowers productivity.

4. The Blinded: Resists personal flaws and ignores weaknesses

These individuals neither acknowledge nor address their weaknesses. They power through work without self-reflection, often creating frustration and chaos around them. They do not realize strengths are based on context and use their strengths with no consideration to situations.

They blame external factors when environments limit their results and hardly stop to examine themselves. 

Example: Kevin, a regional sales director in the banking sector, has Competition and Achiever as his dominant talent themes. He only focuses on profits and dismisses feedback about his aggressive approach. “Sales is about winning,” he says, ignoring how his cutthroat tactics are driving his team away. His department has the highest turnover rate, yet he remains oblivious, blaming others for being “too weak.”

Impact: The Blinded creates toxic work environments. Their blindness to their flaws leads to very disengaged teams, high turnover, and long-term damage to company culture. The worst part? They often don’t realize the destruction they’ve caused until it’s too late.

Which Archetype might fit you most closely?

Summary: Each person brings strengths as well as weaknesses to any team. At the end of the day, the way we handle our weaknesses impact the people around us. My hope is that this article can be a resource to prompt further reflection.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

(Updated) A Guide: Using CliftonStrengths at Work

One of the most common questions I get after a CliftonStrengths workshop is:

What’s next? How can I use my strengths more effectively at work?

I'm writing this article to highlight three key areas where you can leverage your strengths.

(1) Performance Management: expanding our effectiveness at work

In performance conversations, we often explore the areas we do well and the possible obstacles to achieving performance. Such discussions often highlight our negative behaviors and whether we are self-aware.

Applying our CliftonStrengths Themes is about applying self-awareness as a practice. 

The practice is to notice the patterns in our lives and make the needed adjustments to achieve what we want. This practice requires us to examine our past experiences to identify the patterns and the results.

In my coaching conversations, some examples of behavioral patterns that came up include:

1. Saying a lot of “Yes” to others

2. Drifting off-topic in discussions and not being concise

3. Shifting goalposts, making it hard for others to be in alignment

4. Leaving decisions till the last minute, putting others under tighter deadlines unnecessarily.

The list goes on. 

Applying our CliftonStrengths themes in performance management is to be aware of how our dominant themes show up in helpful ways and not so helpful ways. When our dominant strengths show up in not so helpful ways, they become hindrances to our work performance.

An example:
Jackson, who has the Connectedness theme, enjoys seeing connections between different ideas and experiences. He believes in better outcomes when people connect the dots and import learnings from past experiences. 

He started to notice that more and more people were giving feedback on his communication. “What’s the point you are trying to make?; I am not sure of the connection between these two incidents that you have just shared; You tend to talk about stuff that seems unrelated to the agenda and our meetings overrun.”

Realizing that his Connectedness theme was hindering his communication effectiveness, Jackson started practicing holding back instead of the tendency to verbalize connections that came to his mind. He saw that his communication was confusing others and decided to make adjustments. Jackson has since learned to communicate by giving context to his shared example or declaring his key point before sharing the connection. By doing so, he expands his ability to communicate clearly and improves his performance as a manager.

(2) Relationship Building: improving our social effectiveness 

In relationship building, one critical factor is the level of trust forged between the parties. Applying CliftonStrengths in relationship building is to regulate the behaviors that will hinder trust building. One of the critical skills in trust-building work is how well we listen to others. Behaviors such as interrupting conversations, jumping quickly to conclusions, etc, show a lack of listening. These behaviors diminish trust.

An example:
Asher, who has the Strategic theme, sees his recurring pattern of seeking more efficient ways to achieve the desired outcomes.

He noticed he gets impatient in meetings because he already sees the solutions to the problems raised when others are still clarifying the issues. His impatience caused him to multitask and attend to other matters while his colleagues were still discussing. He also noticed his tendency to interrupt conversations to stop others from “wasting time” in meetings. These observations came after he received different feedback from colleagues that others have been irritated by his behaviors. They perceived that he did not care and respect others.

Realizing that it could be his Strategic theme that is hindering him from building trusting relationships, Asher practiced turning down his Strategic theme and turning up his Input theme instead. He consciously aims to be curious by using his Input theme rather than be quick to judge. The adjustments helped him to slow down and to show care. That started the process of rebuilding the trust of others in the team.

ARTICLE:
CliftonStrengths Complementary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairings

(3) Collaboration: improving our communication effectiveness

In collaborative work, we often need to coordinate between different stakeholders. Effective communication is one of the crucial factors in driving good collaboration. Applying CliftonStrengths in communication starts with recognizing our own needs and the needs of other stakeholders. Each CliftonStrengths theme has specific needs. When the different needs are met, communication flows naturally. Coordination work becomes more effective. 

An example:
Julia, who has the Context theme, sees her recurring pattern of seeking background information and asking “how things came about”. To her, background information helps produce better quality thinking and eventually, decisions. However, she noticed that her teammates prefer to jump into problem-solving mode. She notices their tendency to quickly explore different solutions before understanding the real issue. That has often made her frustrated during meetings. Julia realized her needs from her Context theme were not met.

After exploring with her coach, she made adjustments by learning to articulate her need for background information to other team members. She is now intentional in making specific requests to acquire quick updates on background information or historical data before any solutions work.

The team has since felt a significant difference in results whenever Julia contributes. She asks good questions and brings fresh perspectives. The team now leverages her Context theme for more robust thinking and quality outcomes. 

In summary, applying CliftonStrengths is learning to dial up our behavioral patterns in situations that will get us positive outcomes and dial down in situations that will create negative impacts. 

The three basic but crucial steps to get there:

(1) Get clarity and understanding of our dominant CliftonStrengths themes and how these themes show up at work. Getting feedback from team members in this area is helpful to get this clarity.

(2) Notice the recurring patterns of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior by reflecting on our past experiences. This includes reflecting about when we feel energized during work, when we get triggered etc.

(3) Intentionally aim these recurring patterns towards our desired outcomes by making adjustments to our behaviors

Ultimately, applying CliftonStrengths in all aspects of work, such as performance management, relationship building, and collaboration, can lead to personal and professional growth. It involves recognizing and leveraging our dominant themes to improve self-awareness, build trust, and enhance communication. By consciously practicing to adjust our behaviors and tendencies associated with our CliftonStrengths, we can create a more effective and harmonious work environment while maximizing our individual potential.

ARTICLE: 8 Things to Know About CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

8 Reasons to use CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) for Team Building

Since 2015, there has been a great increase in the number of companies in Singapore and across Southeast Asia enquiring about the CliftonStrengths (formerly Gallup StrengthsFinder) Team Building Program. Since 2021, the CliftonStrengths Profiling has been taken over 30 million times globally.

This article is written especially for Team Leaders and those in Human Resource, who are regularly looking out for team building programs that can be beneficial to their team and organization.

Based on past experience and participants' feedback from over hundreds of CliftonStrengths workshops I have conducted, I am giving 8 reasons on why a CliftonStrengths workshop could just be the ideal Team Building Program that a team or an organization should consider. 

1. It's incredibly uplifting!

How often do people have the opportunity to hear the good things that other colleagues have to say about their own strengths?

Leveraging on the Strengths Language which is derived from the field of positive psychology, conversations that take place build up the morale of the team. The conversations in the workshop revolved around what is right with people rather than what is wrong. In many work cultures where affirmations and encouragements are in deficit, team members received a much needed morale boost. The overall morale of a team has been observed to be greatly heightened after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop. 

2. All new partnerships start with a Conversation

It begins with a conversation. As cliche as it sounds, new partnerships can be formed from having a conversation on how different strengths complement. It is one thing to discover why certain people work well together. It is another to intentionally build partnerships that revolve around different strengths that complement. One of the most powerful segments during an interactive workshop is called “getting the best of me”. It is so important to hear from our colleagues how they feel they can bring out their best at work and what support they need from the team.

3. Knowledge-Based Learning

Most team building activities are interactive and fun in nature and CliftonStrengths workshops are no different. One thing that stands out about a CliftonStrengths Team building workshop is that extra dimension of knowledge-based learning, especially in facilitating self-awareness and in gaining data to understand other colleagues. This is usually missing from the usual one-off team building cooking, art-jamming session or a laser quest mission.

A well facilitated CliftonStrengths workshop empowers and equips participants with practical handles on how to move forward with the knowledge gained. These handles allow the different team members to build on the positive energy gained from the workshop. Feedback from many participants have demonstrated that the strengths conversations that took place after the Strengthsfinder workshop usually transmit into greater synergy in the workplace.

4. Increase in An Individual's Self-Confidence and Self-Awareness

A well facilitated CliftonStrengths session is not only fun but participants leave with a greater level of self-awareness. By learning how they think, feel and behave in unique ways that are very different from their colleagues, participants have commented that the insights can help them in designing interventions for professional development. The knowledge gained from understanding their own strengths and the strengths of their colleagues gives people a renewed sense of confidence in themselves as well as for the team.

5. Understand How Strengths Cause Conflicts

A CliftonStrengths team building workshop helps participants understand how certain strengths among team members can clash and turn into potential conflicts. For example, a CliftonStrengths theme of Harmony prefers emotional efficiency while the theme of Strategic prefers operational efficiency. Harmony believes work gets done faster without the conflicts that suck up more emotional energy of the team. Strategic believes that efficiency lies in cutting down unnecessary steps even if the process has been established and executed in the past. 

Such understanding and awareness usually helps people to realize how certain conflicts are non-personal in nature and is really a result of different perspectives. A CliftonStrengths workshop can provide participants with very effective handles on how to manage and resolve conflicts that happen in teams.

READ: Using CliftonStrengths to Resolve Conflicts

6. A Long Term Strategic Investment

A CliftonStrengths team building workshop is a long term strategic investment for companies as compared to one-off bonding sessions. Strategies to manage teams can become more customized because of the strengths data and hence more productive. Out of knowing different strengths of the team members, strategies devised can be more targeted especially in complex work environments.

It is often observed that after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop, many leaders take up the follow-up recommendation to receive individualized coaching. Often the purpose of the coaching session is to learn more about how to leverage the different strengths of the team members to grow team performances. This is one opportunity that can be captured after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop.

7. A Practical Alternative for DIVERSE Groups

A CliftonStrengths session provides a strong and practical alternative whenever a team building exercise needs to be catered to participants of a wide age range (or with vastly different physical fitness levels). The workshops usually take place indoors. While the activities are interactive and fun, they are not physical in nature and do not require any additional insurance liability coverage. 

8. Understanding Human Relationships

The most common feedback from participants who attended the CliftonStrengths Team Building Workshops come down to understanding human relationships. "You learn to withhold your judgement because you now see a person for who they are and you learn to accept them”.

This is immensely transforming for any kind of human relationship!

 

Some Testimonials from TEAM Leaders

“Victor has been a very professional coach, walking with us patiently through our CliftonStrengths results. It was a fun and interactive team building workshop and we are glad to find out our individual strengths through this workshop. Thank you Victor!
Chloe Teo | Senior Director, Enterprise Clients | Colliers International

"The StrengthsFinder workshop went down very well with everyone and it struck me that was a near-perfect and flawless session. The session was very balanced, well-paced and well-organized. The session was peppered with personal (and often hilarious) anecdotes that the team found to be very helpful and relevant. Personally, understanding my own strengths and those of my team has helped to make sense of some of the behaviours from my team members and myself and caused me to make adjustments to some of the ways I interact with my team."
Wong Rin Rin | Former Legal Director & Associate General Counsel, Asia Pacific (MNC)

"The StrengthsFinder workshop was excellent and the feedback from all the team members was that it was one of the most valuable workshops they have been a part of. The concepts and team exercises certainly helped the teams to grasp the strength-based thinking, as well as enabled the team leads to get a closer view of their team dynamics, diversity and strengths." 
Saurabh Mandal | Head – Supply Chain (MNC)

"As a Team Leader, I benefitted from understanding the team’s strengths and am glad that the team bonded from the workshop. The team really enjoyed the session. I will recommend this workshop to the other departments. It is beneficial to our personal lives as well as professional lives. Great job!"
Corrine Ee | Head of Distribution (MNC)

"The greatest benefit for me was to understand and start appreciating different talents of different individuals. That enables me to work better towards common goals. I find this workshop interactive, comprehensive and lively! I rate this workshop a 10/10!"
Michael Wu | Chief Financial Officer (MNC)

"This workshop helped me understand the team differences and what makes each person unique and what we have in common. I think this leadership program is a great one and I highly recommend it for leaders & teams."
Richa Goswami | Head of Digital, Asia Pacific (MNC)

How do I run the CliftonStrengths Team Workshop Programs?

Fun & Interactive, focusing on team DYNAMICS, TRUST BUILDING and EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

8 things to know about CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains

As a CliftonStrengths coach, whenever I facilitate leadership workshops across Singapore and Asia, I often get asked many questions about the CliftonStrengths profiling tool. One of the most common questions I've been asked has to do with the four domains of Leadership strengths. What do the domains mean and how should individuals interpret their CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) results based on the domains?

This article is written as a resource with the hope of answering some of the common questions asked. This article contains my own opinions as a Gallup Certified Coach, gathered from my training, facilitation and coaching experiences accumulated. Please feel free to check out some of the workshops I have conducted in this Portfolio.

Two key things to note as you read this article.
(1) CliftonStrengths is commonly positioned as a developmental tool and used by managers and coaches in a variety of ways.
(2) Similar to each of the CliftonStrengths assessment results, the way to interpret and understand a person's domain is uniquely individualized.

1. What are the CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) Leadership Domains about?

Each of the 34 CliftonStrengths Talent Themes are categorized under four different domains, namely Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building and Strategic Thinking. These four domains are categorized by Gallup as a reference and for a different perspective on how the talent themes can be interpreted. The categories work more like a signpost and a guide. The different talent themes are surveyed and categorized in one of the four domains. The key idea is this: the type of activities linked to the particular domain will be the type of activities that the talent theme will most likely thrive in. 

2. What is one common misconception that people have about the domains?

In my experience (as a Gallup Certified Coach), one of the most common misconceptions is people believe that a particular theme can only excel in the domain it is categorized in. This is definitely untrue. The categorization of the domains in no way suggests that a particular talent theme will not be able to function well in another domain. It is by no means exclusive. For example, the Learner theme, which is categorized under the Strategic Thinking domain, is often used to build relationships. Learners are curious. They use their curiosity to discover what makes their friends tick and what makes them upset. Learners are also curious to find out how they can strengthen their relationships with people from different communities. 

The categorization of the domains simply highlights the area in which each talent theme can manifest its greatest impact when rightly engaged. When we subscribe to the common misconception, we will often believe an internal voice in our head: "Oh no, I do not have any strengths (in this domain)!" This deficit mindset causes the knowledge of the domains to be disempowering rather than empowering. 

One of the most common thinking traps that Corporate Leaders fall into is this idea that "I need more people with Influencing Strengths". This is usually the instinctive response when a Team Leader begins to analyze the Team Strengths. Some even go as far as to comment that they need to hire people with specific influencing strengths (which are rare to come across). I usually have to spend time coaching the team leaders and help them understand how to develop their staff to leverage their non-influencing domain strengths to hit the objectives of influencing others.   

Article: A Manager’s Guide to Leverage Team’s Strengths

3. How are the talent themes categorized and what does each domain mean?

The CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) Talent Themes that are categorized in the Executing domain include Achiever, Arranger, Belief, Consistency, Deliberative, Discipline, Focus, Responsibility and Restorative. You can read more specifically about any of the talent themes in the 34 CliftonStrengths theme articles I have written.

When your talent themes are largely Executing in nature, it means you are someone who often intuitively wants to get things done and finish tasks successfully. The structure, system, budget, processes, timeline and rules are usually areas you are concerned about. While you might be often thought of as being task-oriented, people who work with you know that you can be highly depended on to get things done. 

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Strategic Thinking domain include Analytical, Context, Futuristic, Ideation, Input, Intellection, Learner and Strategic.

When your talent themes are mostly Strategic Thinking in nature, it means you are someone who loves thinking. Your playground is in your mind. Facts, data, concepts, ideas, strategies, dreams, and having a big picture are often areas that are of concern to you. You need to know the purpose behind a plan. You enjoy opportunities to create new strategies and explore ideas and meaning. You need room to imagine, and you need your mind to be engaged. People who work with you know that you are often a source of wisdom, counsel and ideas because of your agile mind. 

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Influencing domain include Activator, Command, Communication, Competition, Maximizer, Significance, Self-Assurance and Woo.

When your talent themes are largely Influencing in nature, it means you are someone who wants to rally people towards a particular direction. People see you as someone with lots of energy. You are more likely to be perceived as an extrovert than introvert. You are concerned with motivating others, persuading others to take action, and pushing others towards breakthrough. The freedom to speak out, freedom to act, and freedom to make changes are often areas you are concerned with. People who work with you know that you are passionate when it comes to inspiring and rallying others for a cause. The Influencing talent themes are rarer (statistically) compared to others. It is extremely rare to find someone with all their 5 top strengths in this domain. I had the privilege of conducting an interview with Singaporean, Joey Ong, who is one of the few rare ones in the world who have such a combination.

Article: StrengthsFinder interview article on Joey Ong.

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Relationship Building domain include Adaptability, Connectedness, Developer, Empathy, Harmony, Includer, Individualization, Relator and Positivity. 

When your strengths are largely relationship building in nature, it means you are someone who often wants to show care and concern to others, often through an emotional connection. People see you as someone who cares. You send the message that human relationships triumph over everything. You are concerned with authenticity, encouragement, listening to the unvoiced, and ensuring no one is left out. Hearing the hearts of people, feeling their emotions and connecting to communities are often areas you are concerned with. People who work with you know that you are well aware of the human needs of people and you are highly sensitive to them. I found a unique pair of Singaporean siblings who both had the same five strengths (in different order) and interestingly, all five of their strengths fall in the relationship building domain.

4. How do the CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains affect people and tasks?

In my personal opinion, we can also divide the four CliftonStrengths Leadership domains into two general categories - task-oriented or people-oriented. Strategic Thinking and Executing strengths are primarily task-oriented. It isn't the case that they do not care about relationships—only that they enjoy finishing the tasks at hand and they leverage the different tasks to build relationships with others.  The Influencing and Relationship Building strengths are primarily people-oriented. For these two domains, it's not that the task is unimportant, only that the tasks are completed because they give meaning to the relationships that exist. Simply put, their motivation to complete the tasks comes from the relationships they are building.

5. Why is it important to understand the CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains?

Domains help us to understand strengths from another angle. It is discovered that a well-rounded team with a representation of talent themes in each of these four domains often have valuable contributions that lead to high levels of performance. In the Strengths-Based Leadership philosophy, it is often taught that individuals need not be well-rounded, but teams should be.

As individuals, by understanding our dominant domains (the domain that most of our strengths lie in), we can understand the kind of tasks we are likely to excel in. We become aware of our biggest contributions to the team we are in. This knowledge also helps us to seek complementary partnerships. We can seek partners to leverage and strengthen the domains we are not so dominant in. Understanding domains also gives us an idea of how we usually impose ourselves on others (often without much awareness) - through the lenses of the domain filters. This understanding allows us to have greater self-awareness and help us regulate our behaviors when it comes to working in a team. Understanding domains thus opens up new possibilities for us to grow our talents into strengths. Domains also allow a team to know from another perspective the areas it needs to watch out for in terms of its most competitive edge and its weakest link.  

6. What does it mean when a person's strengths are dominant in a particular domain?

It essentially means that the tasks and scope of work in that particular domain will be the individual's greatest value-add to any team or community that they are in. These people will often feel most engaged when they contribute in their strongest domain (provided that their contributions are also appreciated by the team). A team leader would do well to take note of such a great value that exists in the team, and intentionally create opportunities that can leverage and maximize this person’s unique contribution.

Team Leaders should also note that the reverse is true. When someone whose strengths dominate a particular domain but feel that the tasks and responsibilities given do not give opportunities for the strengths to be sufficiently-engaged, then this individual is likely to become disengaged over time. Team Leaders will do well to intervene and make quick and necessary adjustments.

Article: Emotional Intelligence and CliftonStrengths

7. What if an individual's strengths are evenly spread out among all the domains?

There is no cause for alarm. Firstly, this person can give different perspectives (spanning across all domains) without overweighing a particular area. This person's views will tend towards being a more "balanced" one and that is a great value-add to any team. Most people usually overweigh their judgements in a particular domain. 

8. What are some things I should watch out for if I am very strong in one particular domain?

In my personal opinion (as a Gallup Certified Coach), there are a few points to be noted:

• The perspectives in that particular domain can be extremely strong. Any job that does not strongly engage the strengths in that domain can easily lead to the person becoming disillusioned. For people who have 4 or 5 of their dominant themes in one particular StrengthsFinder domain, they need to be quite selective in the job they are in. Regular check-ins with the manager is helpful to ensure sufficient engagement.

• A person who dominates a particular domain needs to form good partnerships with others who are strong in the other domains. (For example, as a person high in influencing and executing, I intentionally surround myself with people high in Empathy, Positivity, Harmony. I do so to grow my relational skills as well as to leverage their unique insights and perspectives to grow my strengths). Strong partnerships can be formed by operating in humility and being very conscious of the need to be interdependent. By being very open to the perspectives of others (especially in the weaker domains), blind spots can be uncovered. This naturally gives the individual a greater chance of success as he or she focuses on strengths and manages weaknesses.

• A person needs to have a deep sense of security about themselves. Unfortunately, what usually becomes the talking point among others are usually the domains that an individual lacks rather than the one that individual is strong in. We live in a world filled with people who look more at the bad rather than the good (I believe this mindset can be changed, but I’m just being a little realistic here.)

• While I believe strongly that #EveryoneNeedsAcoach, I would strongly advise a person with very dominant strengths in one domain to find a personal coach or mentor who understands how to bring out the best in him/her.

Concluding Thoughts: This topic on the CliftonStrengths Leadership domains remains one of the most important areas to be understood, especially for Managers and Team Leaders. In a very competitive business environment, the leader who can strongly leverage on the unique contributions of each team member is the one who can lead a team to perform at a very high level. Gallup's research has shown that it is the role of the manager to have the wisdom and understanding to create such a culture. I strongly believe this to be true.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

CliftonStrengths: Complementary Partnerships Through Unlikely Pairings - Part 2

This is part 2 of Complimentary partnerships through the unlikely pairs of the CliftonStrengths themes.

The key question asked from the first article was:
“How can people with very different strengths work together?”

I’m attempting to answer the question by examining the polarities that I derive from the unlikely pairs from the list of CliftonStrengths 34 themes. From Gallup’s research data, the unlikely theme pairings which bring insights into polarities are: 


1. Deliberative - Woo;
2. Developer - Command; 
3. Empathy - Self Assurance; 
4. Discipline - Ideation; 
5. Harmony - Strategic; 
6. Maximizer - Restorative; 
7. Positivity - Deliberative. 

READ: Part 1 of Complimentary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairs

In this part 2, I will be touching from the fourth to the last pair. I will share my observations of how each theme within the pair has contrasting thinking, feeling and behavioural patterns. I will attempt to name the polarity so that we get an idea why these pairings can be powerfully complementary. Again, these are my own personal views as a coach based in Singapore.

4. Discipline and Ideation

People with Discipline require their world to be predictable. They set up routines and they need precision. They like things to be in order and planned. The need for structure often means they prefer to work within the box and not be taken by surprises. People with Ideation, on the contrary, enjoy newness and seeing things fresh. They are energized by out-of-the-box ideas. Innovative solutions are new perspectives developed on familiar challenges. They are often easily bored by routines and enjoy going beyond previously set parameters to develop fresh ideas and perspectives.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for stability AND change. Often, the routines bring a sense of predictability, which in turn, bring a sense of stability and safety. In a country like Singapore where survival is often a key narrative, stability at work is a need that workers require. On the other hand, what workers need and what businesses want creates the tension. Businesses need constant change and innovation to adapt to the dynamic business landscape. People with Ideation brings innovation and fresh perspectives. Leveraging this polarity helps to create a needed dynamic critical to building high performance teams.

5. Harmony and Strategic

People with the Harmony theme look for areas of agreement and consensus. They instinctively listen out for shared points of views. They prefer to help team members find common ground and have a preference for emotional efficiency, even if it means going on a longer route together. The journey towards camaraderie is often more valued than output efficiency. People with Strategic, on the other hand, prefer operational efficiency and having speed. Finding shortcuts is in the DNA. The results are often more valued than the team building process. They seek the path of least resistance and are prepared to rock the boat if they assess that a new path might bring greater results.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for emotional efficiency AND the need for output efficiency. To build a sense of togetherness, there is often the need for alignment through some levels of consensus building. Moving too fast without team alignment creates conflicts which in turn creates an emotional state that can be detrimental to team performance. Having the right level of emotional efficiency is helpful.
On the other hand, in the fast moving world of businesses, there is also a need for output efficiency and getting results. Leveraging this partnership allows for constructive exchanges on when it is critical to get buy-in from the team and when it is necessary to act efficiently and with speed to achieve the required outcomes. Leveraging this polarity creates more respect for each other and ultimately creates a stronger bond within the team. .

6. Maximizer and Restorative

People with the Maximizer theme see their world through the lens of excellence and beauty. They dislike mediocrity and being average. To a Maximizer, fixing something that is broken is akin to taking something from below average to average. That process takes a great deal of effort and often does not bring quality results. Maximizer prefers to focus on strengths to enhance quality and create high performance. On the other hand, people with Restorative love to solve problems. They see the world as a broken world and the world can be a better place by solving one problem at a time. Statistically, this pair is also the most unlikely to appear together in an individual’s top 5.

What does this partnership bring out? 

The named polarity here is Exceeding Expectations AND Meeting Expectations. Customers are constantly looking for higher levels of quality in products and services and making comparisons. Customers are also ready to complain if the products and services are not up to the committed standards. Leveraging this polarity allows for the delivery of strong business results.

Another possible polarity is building on strengths AND managing weaknesses. Leaders have often seen how a non-performing member pulls down the overall team performance and morale. Managing the weaknesses of team members is part of a key process to build high performance teams. Yet, self-actualization is a powerful driver. The ability to achieve excellence through focusing on our strengths is greatly desired. This polarity creates a powerful partnership in the people development space.

7. Positivity and Deliberative

People with Positivity are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in any situation. They have the desire to keep environments lighthearted and look to inject vitality and life into areas that feel dead and lifeless. People with Deliberative on the other hand are always on the lookout for danger and what might go wrong. They believe that life is better when expectations are managed well and precautions are well taken. 

What does this partnership bring out? 

The named polarity here is being optimistic AND realistic. Having an optimistic mindset helps us to have lightness in our approach at work. People with Positivity often draws on this lightness to spread the positive energy around. When team members catch on the positive energy, there are more laughter, a greater sense of psychological safety and more effective collaboration. In times of setback, the positive energy empowers the team to be resilient. On the other hand, having the realistic mindset helps the Deliberative to actively anticipate challenges that might derail the team’s efforts. The realistic mindset often carries a sense of burden which in turn, creates a sharp focus on delivering results. Creating back up plans and planning for worst-case scenarios are the norm.

Leveraging this polarity creates the ability to draw on the lightness to create a positive team spirit and the operational prowess of burden to create focus.

In conclusion: the above examples illustrate how many of the CliftonStrengths themes can be powerfully leveraged. The conflicts in perspectives between the different themes are not problems to be solved. They should be seen as perspectives to be leveraged. Leveraging these polarities can help teams and businesses thrive in this VUCA world.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

CliftonStrengths: Complementary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairings

As a CliftonStrengths Coach based in Singapore, one of the questions I’m often asked during workshops or coaching sessions is “how can people with very different strengths work together?”

As I listen to the deeper concerns, I discovered two common struggles. First, there are those who struggle with certain individuals in tension-filled relationships and wondering if the conflicts are a result of “opposite strengths”.

Second, some people saw the deficit in their decision making outcomes. There is a tendency to be over focused on one side of the coin to the neglect of another. It is a bias that surface regularly in decision making. Increasingly, polarity management is gaining traction in organisational development.

Polarities are interdependent opposites and each dimension is needed for the healthy functioning of the system. There is a necessity of both dimensions. Central to the idea of a polarity is the expectation that each opposite dimension will have an impact on the system. Having one but not the other creates issues within the system. From this point of view, the complementary partnerships of people with opposite strengths, are very powerful in bringing better business outcomes.

Taking a step back, you might be now wondering: “What are strengths that are considered to be very different?”

There are multiple ways of answering this question. I approach this from a coaching lens. Through some research data published by Gallup, I discovered that there are some CliftonStrengths talent themes that are very unlikely to be paired together in an individual’s top 5 strengths results. From Gallup’s data, these unlikely pairings are:

1. Deliberative - Woo
2. Developer - Command
3. Empathy - Self Assurance
4. Discipline - Ideation
5. Harmony - Strategic
6. Maximizer - Restorative
7. Positivity - Deliberative

So how can people with very different strengths work together?
In this article, I will be touching on the first three pairings to explore this question. These are my own personal views as a professional executive coach.

1. Deliberative and Woo

People with Deliberative are quite private in nature, selective about those they allow into their inner circle and preferring quality over quantity. They are very careful in the way they use social media and doing  networking online in the digital world today. They are often very aware of the dangers in the social media online space. Those with Woo are considered to be socially adventurous. They love meeting strangers because they see it as an opportunity to make new friends. They tend to enjoy playful banter, as it helps them build rapport quickly. They are likely to initiate in reaching out to others to build a greater network of contacts, aware of the power of leveraging relationships in the social media space today. This is probably the reason for the unlikely pairing in the two talent themes. When you speak to two different individuals, a Deliberative and a Woo, it is fairly common to observe some distinct differences in perspectives.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the human need for protection AND connection. There is both the need to create strong personal boundaries and strong social connections. In work partnerships, Woo brings the perspectives and learnings of leveraging connections for business development, job search and ideas exchange. Deliberative brings the learnings and perspectives on risk assessment. That means learning how to spot scams, guard against wrongdoings within and out of the system. Deliberative can also share perspectives about the danger of being overly vulnerable and friendly.

2. Developer and Command

People with the Developer theme tend to be perceived as nurturing and patient while those with Command can come across with a colder and more intimidating presence. In terms of people development, Developer enjoys encouraging people to take baby steps in facing challenges. The Developer celebrates every growth and milestone. Command enjoys challenging people to move out of their comfort zones and overcome their fears. While the development goals looked similar, the emotional journey can be in stark contrast. Another contrasting perspective is how each might look at results. Command tends to polarize and see results as either success (“you have overcome”) or failure (“you succumbed to your fears”). The Developer tends to focus on the growth and progress even with not so desirable results (“you did better than before, that is worth celebrating”).

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for Support AND the need for Challenge. Leveraging this partnership allows for constructive exchanges on when it is necessary to push people to overcome personal challenges and when to take a step back and give people some breathing space. This is a common tension seen in coaching, mentoring and teaching. Leveraging this polarity creates better results in the space of people development, talent retention and employee engagement.

READ: PART 2 of Complimentary Partnerships Through Unlikely Pairings

3. Empathy and Self Assurance

People with the Empathy theme tend to be others centered. They naturally want to put themselves in another person’s shoes in order to understand how that person is feeling. Their confidence come from their ability to connect deeply with others and being able to sense what others are feeling. In a rather contrasting fashion, those with the Self-Assurance theme build confidence by developing a keener sense of self. They rely a lot on their gut and have faith in their own strengths and judgments. Like an anchor of a ship, those with Self-Assurance can often withstand different kinds of pressure and they have a great self-belief that is often unwavering. The decision making process is very different for each side. Empathy often makes decisions based on meeting peoples’ needs and concerns. The sensing of peoples’ emotions (fears anxieties, hope and excitement etc) are key data points for decisions. Self-Assurance enjoys taking risks and decisions are often based on their personal gut feel and sensing about the situation. Decisions do not necessarily concern how others might be feeling.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the relying on Others as a resource AND relying on Self as a resource. When should one move ahead decisively and depend on the gut instinct? When should one choose to listen, gather data and sense the mood of the community? Leveraging the contrasting perspectives bring rich learnings and is crucial in a context of fast changing landscape with much unknowns.

In conclusion: the above examples illustrate how many of the CliftonStrengths themes can be powerfully leveraged. The conflicts in perspectives between the different themes are not problems to be solved. They should be seen as perspectives to be leveraged. Leveraging these polarities can help teams and businesses thrive in this VUCA world.

READ: Why Complementary Partnerships Do Not Always Work

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

A Manager's Guide to Leverage The Strengths of the Team

This article is written to share some coaching practices that I have been helping team leaders and managers with, especially those who are intentionally building a strong team culture. The question that is commonly explored:

What are some practices that you can do as a manager to leverage the strengths of your team?

1. Collect strengths data of the individuals and the entire team

Get some data on each individual’s strengths. Put all the individuals’ results together and attempt to make sense of the team’s overall strengths. This process can be done by using different profiling tools. Some of the profiling tools that focuses on strengths include the CliftonStrengths assessment, the Strengths Profile and VIA Character Survey. Using a profiling tool to assess your team’s strengths give you a common language to assess each individual. This is probably the easiest way to get to know your team strengths.
On a separate note, if you are using CliftonStrengths, the four domains of team or leadership strengths are a powerful way of learning and seeing the collective strengths of the team. You can check out this article I have written:

Check out this article: 8 Things to know about CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains

2. Have a strengths conversation with each individual

During the chat, ask questions like “Where are you at your best at work? What kind of tasks do you love doing the most or find yourself looking forward to? Other than financial returns or recognition, what might motivate and drive you? Which activities do you find yourself volunteering for?
This kind of conversation with your staff is a fantastic way to connect with them. Most staff are tired of managers doing fault-finding. Having a manager who seeks to learn and understand their strengths is simply refreshing!

It’s also worth noting that when an individual shares about a desire to do a particular task, your assessment might be there is a competency gap. This becomes a great opportunity to have a conversation about skills development. This can often exists if the staff is younger and less experienced.

3. Share Your Strengths as a Manager

Your staff comes to you with their proposals and ideas. From this perspective, each individual is expected to engage in some kind of collaborative work with you. As a manager, you evaluate the plans, proposals and ideas using your strengths (“are you aware this is an automatic lens you put on?”).
For more effective team communication, it is useful to share your strengths intentionally with your team. Your staff will appreciate knowing how you will evaluate their proposals. With the knowledge of your strengths, they can prepare themselves for discussions with you. They will also appreciate how they can think about leveraging on your strengths to improve their ideas.

Check out this article: A Manager’s Guide: Using StrengthsFinder in Personal Development

4. GET INPUTS around Your Team Strengths

No manager has all the answers. So why not tap on others’ perspectives? As a manager, you can intentionally set up discussions around your team’s strengths. Invite individual team members to articulate how they see the strengths of the team and get their perspectives. Invite other business leads, HR business partners etc to share their views. The diversity of views presented on the collective strengths of your team can empower you to leverage the team’s strengths more comprehensively.

5. CELEBRATE Contributions

Mark Twain says “really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great”. As a manager, celebrating strengths and contributions are a hallmark of a great manager.
You can intentionally invite individuals to share with the team about “this is what I bring to the team or this is what I can contribute most effectively”. You can also invite the other team members to validate and affirm what has been shared to strengthen the team dynamics.

6. EXPLORE WITH THE TEAM ON HOW TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER

It is intuitive for managers to see how strengths are linked to performances. It is perhaps not so common to see how strengths can be used to create support for others.
Managers can enhance team safety and well-being by facilitating a conversation on how the team can support one another by tapping into each other’s strengths. This can be a discussion around the idea of “where I need help.” The request can be as simple as “I often need ideas. I often need reminders. I often need a listening ear etc”.
This discussion is essentially an exercise on vulnerability and trust. If carried out successfully, this exercise empowers the team to help each other more intentionally. A high performing team develops when team members are mutually supportive of one another. This is an essential team standard to establish when building a strengths-based team culture.

Caveat: Work and strengths come together. Managers need to be able to demonstrate strong clarity about what's the work that needs to be done. When there is great clarity about the work, managers can explore with ease how the team’s strengths can be tapped. Leveraging the team strengths is a combination of knowing the work and knowing the strengths with great details.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observer of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.

Using CliftonStrengths for Relationships - Strengthening Marriages

One of the key benefits of the CliftonStrengths (formerly known as StrengthsFinder) tool is that of building better quality relationships. Using CliftonStrengths, each individual identifies his or her dominant talent themes. With that knowledge, individuals can understand their natural recurring patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour.

Conflicts between people usually arise when people impose their natural ways of thinking, feeling and behaving on others. Most of the time, this occurs without an individual’s awareness. As a coach, I often use the CliftonStrengths tool to help couples build greater understanding of each other's lenses and to facilitate conversations that will improve the quality of relationships. A marriage relationship is very intense. The trust and quality of relationship takes a lot of time to strengthen. In Singapore, When I run strengths workshop for couples, seeing how the faces of the couples light up has been immensely rewarding! 

The passion to conduct these relationship workshops arose out of the transformation of my own marriage. Michelle and I have been married for over 18 years. In these years, there certainly have been challenges. My dominant themes are Activator, Communication, Strategic, Self-Assurance and Command. Michelle’s dominant themes are Responsibility, Achiever, Maximizer, Ideation and Relator. We have very contrasting themes and often our natural ways of thinking, feeling and behaving created conflicts. 

How do we use this tool in a practical way to grow our marriage?

Using the CliftonStrengths tool, we first try to have conversations that seek to understand each other’s dominant themes. Understanding each other's tendency to think, feel and behave helped us acquire a heightened level of patience. There were many paradigm shifts that took place in this process. Here, I list 5 examples:

1. GETTING THINGS DONE:

There is usually a to-do list stuck on the fridge. Unsurprisingly, these lists were generated by Michelle. These to-do lists are not just for herself - there is also a list for me! Upon understanding her Achiever talent theme, I realized that when a task is completed for her, there is a huge level of satisfaction for her. Because of this new understanding, I engage my Activator theme, which is the ability to take action quickly, to finish the tasks that are required. I used to procrastinate and Michelle gets upset and frustrated. The new motivation to get these tasks done stems from the desire to love and serve her.

2. UNDERSTANDING OWNERSHIP

"Apologies are not enough. Rationalizations and excuses are not acceptable”. These words came out of the description of the Gallup CliftonStrengths Responsibility theme. For me, this was a great revelation! What was a minor mistake or an careless act often escalated into a huge conflict. Discussing this theme allowed us to make adjustments on both ends. She agreed to be more gracious towards my slip ups. She also chooses to now take note and be more affirming of the many tasks I have completed. What used to be a “this is expected of you!” has now changed to a “thank you for doing these”. I also took note of the fact that her psychological ownership is higher than an average person and I’m now more careful to avoid making empty promises to her.

READ: USING CLIFTONSTRENGTHS TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS

3. DECISION MAKING 

My Activator theme often clashed with her Responsibility theme. My Activator says “Taking action is better than no action at all” while her Responsibility and Deliberative says “Doing nothing is better than doing something wrong”. These contrasting thoughts often brought conflicts during decision making especially in areas where much uncertainties lie. Discussions in this area have helped us to understand each other better. We decided not to change one another but to find areas of common ground. We agreed on some specific areas of decisions where I will submit to her suggestions and vice versa. These handles have hugely reduced our conflicts.

4. PROVIDING OPTIONS

Michelle now understands that my Strategic theme enjoys having options. Killing off options at the start of any discussions is a big no-no for me. Giving me options to choose from was a powerful way of communicating with me. From deciding what to do on a weekend to deciding what to have for meals, giving me different alternatives makes me feel valued.

5. SERVING TOGETHER

As a Relator and with the Achiever and Responsibility theme, Michelle enjoys being involved and doing things together with me. I learnt to make her feel more valued by finding opportunities for us to work together. One of the things we intentionally do is to mentor other younger couples. We also serve together in a Singapore local church in by co-facilitating a small group. I also try to involve her in my work by tapping on her Ideation for fresh and innovative ways.

While I can list down more transforming paradigms that strengthen our marriage and the new ways we found in engaging each other, I’m very mindful that this marriage relationship is still work in progress. We cannot grow complacent. Open communication to build trust and mutual respect continues to be fundamental for us. We are thankful that we discovered a tool and now possess a weapon that helps to strengthen our bond as husband and wife. We continue to use the CliftonStrengths as a conversation tool to help us understand each other and resolve conflicts.

How is the relationship with your spouse or partner? Consider using the CliftonStrengths tool as a means to improve and strengthen your relationships.

READ: WHY COMPLIMENTARY PARTNERSHIPS DO NOT ALWAYS WORK

Contact me if you are interested to have some couple coaching sessions.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observer of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.

Using CliftonStrengths for Relationships - Family Conversations

It has been known that one of the key benefits of using the Gallup CliftonStrengths tool is that of enhancing relationships. Backed by 50 years of research, CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) provides a science to why people intuitively behave in a certain way - it is discovered that the motivation behind human behaviour can be greatly attributed to a person's unique talents. The CliftonStrengths tool measures the presence of talents in each individual and empowers people to understand themselves and grow in self-awareness. 

As a coach, I intentionally employ the CliftonStrengths tool for organizations, schools as well as for families and individuals. Using a guided approach, I facilitate strengths-based conversations to co-create rich and fruitful dialogues, which are often missed out in the hurriedness of work and life. After going through a session of Strengths-Based coaching, the Lo family from Singapore kindly agreed to do an interview and share their individual experiences of the family coaching session.

A short introduction of the Lo Family: James, father of the household, is a Singaporean businessman while Ai Ling, mother, is a homemaker who has recently completed a post-graduate course in Counselling. The eldest sibling, Samantha, works as a manager while the middle child in the family, Chrystella (known affectionately by all of them as La), works as a counsellor. Youngest of the siblings, Jonathan, is looking to complete his degree in business, studying in Singapore. The Lo family hopes that through this short interview, more families in Singapore as well as across the globe will be encouraged to understand each member's unique talents and experience a breakthrough in their relationships.

1) HOW DID THE SESSION HELP YOU TO KNOW YOUR FAMILY BETTER? 

James: I now learnt why Ai Ling is so insistent to do things or house work her ways. It’s attributed to her lenses and it’s helpful to understand her top 5. I also never knew that Jonathan has such a strong connection with his Harmony and Relator theme. I now know that his ability to form solid, mutually rewarding relationships is very important to him. I also learnt more about my 2 daughters: Sam is a very private person and that comes from her Deliberative theme. La will stop engaging during family discussions whenever she completed her own analysis of the issue at hand. That comes from her Analytical theme.

AL: I now understand why there are times that Jon and La "switched off" during family conversations. For Jon who has Harmony, I did not know previously that he does not really enjoy listening to lengthy debates and discussions and prefer discussing what we can do as a family together. For La, her Analytical enjoys analyzing different points of views and she is good at that. When there isn't any data to analyze, she switched off during the conversations. I also now understand why my husband with his Restorative theme often prescribes solutions that I don't feel I needed. Understanding that allows me to now be more patient.

La: For me, the session was helpful to provide a platform where family members could reflect on and share their views on how they respond & behave with the family, and why. The session also provided a platform for us to give feedback to each other and discuss ways to support each other better in our interactions. Example for me was when we discussed why my brother would at times zone out during family discussions, and how we can involve him more productively.

Sam: The session helped me to reframe my family's idiosyncrasies as needs behind their talent themes. For example: Mom's impatience as a need for something to be done, and be done quickly. That is her Activator’s need. For La, her Analytical theme requires her to be mentally engaged. If she’s not, she tends to switch off during family discussions.

Jon:  The session helped me to put into words the behaviours of my family members and to understand their personalities better. For example I didn't know why sometimes La seems uninterested. I used to think maybe she was just in a bad mood but now I know it’s because of her Analytical theme. 

READ: Using CliftonStrengths for Relationships - Strengthening Marriages

2) WHAT WAS SOMETHING THAT STOOD OUT FOR YOU DURING THE SESSION?

James: I find it extremely helpful to do this exercise and to understand each other viewpoints. The session which was facilitated by an experienced coach, definitely help to open each other up and create the openness and ability to talk freely.

AL: Our talents need to be moderated to bring out the strengths of the other person so that it is beneficial to all in the family otherwise love becomes loath.

Sam: Talking about how we experience our talents and how those talents sometimes may drive other family members crazy. The conversation made me realized the efforts that each member of my family has made to put aside their preferences to show love to the family. I realized that when I look back at the individuals we were years ago, we have come some way in trying to "tame" our parts of our talents that annoy each other. Also, another thing that stood out was that everyone was trying to understand each other. There was the connecting of the dots - we were piecing together what we have observed of one another, with the new StrengthsFinder language we now have learned to describe each other.

La: What stood out to me was the insights between specific family member interactions, and certain patterns that I have observed in our family. Light was shed on the reason for some of these observations.

Jon: What stood out to me through the conversation was how my family, especially my parents, actually observes a lot about each other. I didn't know that they as well as myself actually notice so much.

3) WHAT WAS ONE PRACTICAL APPLICATION YOU TOOK AWAY FROM THE SESSION?

James: For me, I will now refrain from providing solutions to any challenges my family members may have. I now realized that was from my Restorative theme. I will instead do my best to direct them and let them discover their own solutions instead of me quickly providing solutions to their challenges.

AL: I feel that I will not insist that things be done my way and get annoyed when certain things did not happen. Instead I will clarify my needs as well as ask my family members for their rationale behind what they do or don't do.

Sam: I now have gained practical ways to engage La and Jon in our family conversations when they seem to switch off. Also, I’ve learnt that to use the CliftonStrengths language of another person's talents can be powerful in order to better communicate with them.

La: I think I can be more communicative to help my family with other types of talents. Eg. My sister's Responsibility theme and my mother's Activator. I need to communicate that I will do the tasks they have asked me to do and as much as possible to give a timeline. In that way, they will not feel I'm irresponsible or slow.

Jon: For me, I have learnt the importance of the need to understand how my family functions in order to show and appreciate their love in a greater measure. 

Ending Thoughts: Every family unit, whether in Singapore or beyond, desires to grow in intimacy and love for one another. Using the CliftonStrengths tool, having Strengths-Based conversations allow family units to go deeper into understanding each person's unique perspectives and further build on the foundation of mutual respect. It is proven that just by having that deeper understanding of each other's perspectives alone can empower an individual to become more patient with family members. We believe that all families should consider using this tool to enhance and develop rich conversations.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observer of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.

First published in 2016.
Updated in 2021.