The Wall of Emotions

Someone once said to me many years ago:

“Victor, you have been married for 12 years right? If you don’t tear down the wall that stopped you from engaging emotionally, your marriage might not last 20 (years).”

We are emotional beings long before we are logical ones. Joy, anger, fear, sadness, embarrassment, shame - these live in our bodies like weather systems. But somewhere along my own journey, I’ve learnt how not to feel, but to manage. I’ve learnt how not to express, but to understand emotions from a safe distance. I learn to talk about emotions without ever really sitting in them. And so, brick by brick, I built the Wall.

The Wall of Emotions isn’t loud. It’s quiet and functional. It lets me perform, lead, show up, even love (to a certain extent). Others feel my love by what I do for them. In CliftonStrengths language, I am an Activator and I’m a Achiever. I am fast to act and I believe that others feel my love by what I do for them.

But this wall has a way to stop me from going deeper in connecting with others. I often talk about stress but never could name the loneliness under it. I might name the sadness, but I never cry in public. The Wall protects me, but I never knew that it also isolates me. I have often felt lonely even when I am constantly surrounded by people. Over time, others around me including my wife feel something missing though they might not be able to pinpoint it. I felt it too.

In one of my earlier vocation as a pastoral worker, I had to deal often with crisis. I have dealt with multiple suicides. I have gone to the mortuary many times to identify and collect dead bodies. I have conducted many funerals. I have many conversations with people who have experienced abuse. I have been inside rooms where individuals are wailing in sorrow. Yet, I have the ability to appear unflinched. This Wall doesn’t look like avoidance. It can look like strength, competence, even leadership. Often in crisis, I am calm and collected. 

I have led many teams with this wall. I can give advice while staying emotionally unreachable. This wall has kept me safe and has helped me perform my duties well (or at least in my own assessment).

Back to the feedback: 
I was taken aback but not shocked.
I wasn’t offended.
I saw certain truth in the comment.

I had some consistent feedback over the years - I often appeared intimidating. Sometimes I come across as cold and emotionless. There seems to be a need to look strong and put together. 

The Wall was my coping mechanism. 

I became curious. I explored what the wall is about. I looked at how the wall has served me and how it has limited me. I realized what has served me over the years is no longer serving me.

I also realized that my CliftonStrengths themes canbe just as powerful without this wall. I do not have to be limited by assessments that others have made. An Activator loves being fast and I can also choose patience. Self-Assurance shows up as confident and I can choose vulnerability. Command can be courageous and I can choose tenderness. Strategic can be efficient and I can choose patience. It’s about what I choose and how I expand.

Fast forward to today, the brick wall has become more like a partition. Breaking down my wall has been one of the hardest challenges I have faced. I have suffered a lot of discomfort and have reaped a lot of rewards. I have moved from being stoic to become more empathetic. I can now confidently say I am more able to be able to sit in the discomfort of my emotions.

The invitation here isn’t to become emotional in a dramatic or performative way. 

It’s to feel—really feel—what’s under the surface, and allow others to witness it. Not conceptually but in practice. It might be awkward, raw, unfamiliar. But this is how the Wall begins to crack, to un-thaw, to dissolve. Not all at once—but slowly and courageously. 

Emotionally honest presence is not weakness. It is perhaps the rarest and most powerful kind of strength.

Have you wondered “what might be possible if you start to take down the wall?”

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

How You Handle Your Weaknesses Shapes Your Workplace Impact

Imagine an F1 driver refusing to adjust his technique despite constant crashes in the last few races. Or a pit crew member who acknowledges his tardiness in changing the tires ibut never seem to improve on his performance. In the high-speed world of racing—and in the workplace—performance isn’t just about talent; it’s about our attitude to adapt, refine, and overcome our weaknesses.

Just like in F1, talented professionals handle their limitations and personal flaws in different ways. Some fine-tune their approaches with humility and grace while others modify their behaviours begrudgingly. Some accept their flaws but couldn’t care more to improve, and others deny their weaknesses entirely.

With the growing popularity of the use of CliftonStrengths assessment in the workplace, more are seeing the impact of overused strengths.

After attending a course on personal mastery, it dawn on me that some work on their perceived weaknesses in lightness while others manage their weaknesses begrudgingly.

Out of the reflection, I wrote this article to explore four types of archetypes. It is an attempt to showi how each archetype views personal flaws, deals with weaknesses and the impact on others.

1. The Enlightened: Accepts personal flaws and intentional to manage weaknesses

These individuals recognize that their strengths can become liabilities when overused. They accept their personal flaws and insecurities as part of being human. Rather than making excuses for their mistakes, they consistently seek to refine and grow. They understand deeply that strengths produce results only in the right context. When strengths are used without consideration of the environment and timing, they easily become weaknesses. Therefore these individuals worked hard to grow their self-awareness and adapt to the dynamic environment. 

The Enlightened sees mistakes as learnings and stepping stones to success. There is a lightness when they share about their mistakes and what they have learned.

Example: Meet Arjun, a project leader in a fintech company. His CliftonStrengths Command talent theme makes him a decisive leader especially in high-pressure situations. He doesn’t shy away from challenges and he shines in crisis. He also knows that his Command theme gives him a certain presence, which can often be perceived as intimidating. When feedback revealed that his directness intimidated colleagues, he didn’t just brush it off. He sought coaching, learned how to balance assertiveness with gentleness and care, and became a leader his team trusted rather than feared.

Impact: The Enlightened creates a culture of growth. Their willingness to receive feedback, inspires others to self-reflect and improve. When leaders are in this category, their teams are engaged, motivated, and feel safe.

2. The Insecure: Resists personal flaws but will seek to improve weaknesses

These individuals struggle with admitting their weaknesses—it often feels like a blow to their ego. They do however make effort to change and improve their behaviours but often stops short to do the deeper work.

These individuals might be unaware in how their resistance shows up to others because of their efforts and sincerity to improve on their weaknesses. There is an unconscious belief that when one’s insecurities are surfaced, one will experience some form of shame. The resistance shows up when one’s insecurities are triggered. The instinct is to hide these insecurities.

For many of these individuals, the characteristics are often similar - responsible, hardworking, caring and they might even go the extra mile. However, away from the visible eyes, the behaviours and the pursuit of results are fueled by the need to hide one’s deep insecurities. Resentment, envy and self-doubt are common companions.

Example: Jia Wei, a senior analyst in a Real Estate company, thrives on her Analytical and Maximizer talents. She dissects data with precision but tends to dismiss others’ ideas too quickly because she feels the ideas are lacking in substance. When colleagues pointed out this specific behaviour, her reaction and body language showed her resistance to feedback. She brushes the feedback aside by rationalizing that she is a person with high standards.

After repeated friction with her team, she tries to improve on her communication but becomes increasingly resentful with those who are resisting her. Unknown to her, her resentment spills out in other areas of interactions.

Impact: The Insecure are often strong contributors at work. They pride themselves in delivering results and have strong ego. What frustrates others are often the lack of awareness in interpersonal dynamics. Their insecurities spilled out in team interactions and contribute to the lack of safety in the team.

3. The Deadweight: Accepts personal flaws but ignores weaknesses

These individuals are aware of their weaknesses but make no real effort to change. They accept their flaws as part of who they are and expect others to work around them. They like others to see their strengths and expect others to ignore their weaknesses. Team members are often frustrated because of the additional work to cover for these people’s inadequacies.

Example: Daniel, a senior consultant in a consulting firm, has Ideation and Strategic as his top talents. He’s brilliant at brainstorming new strategies but terrible at execution. He openly admits, “I’m just not a details person,” and continues to miss deadlines. His team constantly has to scramble to cover for his weaknesses. The lack of effort to improve increases frustration and resentment within the team.

Impact: The Deadweight are often guilty of dragging teams down. While their self-awareness is a small step forward, their lack of action forces others to compensate for their shortcomings. Over time, this erodes team trust and lowers productivity.

4. The Blinded: Resists personal flaws and ignores weaknesses

These individuals neither acknowledge nor address their weaknesses. They power through work without self-reflection, often creating frustration and chaos around them. They do not realize strengths are based on context and use their strengths with no consideration to situations.

They blame external factors when environments limit their results and hardly stop to examine themselves. 

Example: Kevin, a regional sales director in the banking sector, has Competition and Achiever as his dominant talent themes. He only focuses on profits and dismisses feedback about his aggressive approach. “Sales is about winning,” he says, ignoring how his cutthroat tactics are driving his team away. His department has the highest turnover rate, yet he remains oblivious, blaming others for being “too weak.”

Impact: The Blinded creates toxic work environments. Their blindness to their flaws leads to very disengaged teams, high turnover, and long-term damage to company culture. The worst part? They often don’t realize the destruction they’ve caused until it’s too late.

Which Archetype might fit you most closely?

Summary: Each person brings strengths as well as weaknesses to any team. At the end of the day, the way we handle our weaknesses impact the people around us. My hope is that this article can be a resource to prompt further reflection.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

EXPLORING IDENTITY - Five Ways to Uncover Your True Self

“Be Your True Self”

Have you ever wondered what these four words mean? I have. And these are my thoughts.

“Being my true self” means consciously choosing rather than conforming to the cultural norms in the face of challenges. It is often easier said than done. The struggle with making choices that represent who we are and what we truly want usually becomes apparent when we are at the crossroads. At the crossroads, the moods and emotions we find ourselves in are usually associated with frustration, anxiety, fear, or resentment. In these moods and emotions, our choices might not necessarily reflect what we truly want.

There is also the struggle with dilemmas when we explore this idea of Self. Let me explain.

It can be a struggle to find coherence. When I look deep within, I often see a deceitful heart. I have multiple desires—tight-knit family, healthy life, spiritual depth, well-paying job, career fulfilment, vocational expertise, financial freedom, close community of friends - and some deep desires, as many of you might imagine, are inherently incompatible.

I often experience tension when a particular situation requires me to choose one desire to the exclusion of another. I have realized that going down this path of looking within makes me experience more burden than freedom.

It is a constant struggle to stay grounded.

I’m now in my mid-forties; I recall looking back at my thirty-year-old self, It felt like my life then was filled with dark moments. I was more reactive. I was more insecure. I recalled thinking what an idiot I was and how I needed to mature emotionally. Funnily, I remembered looking back at my twenty-year-old self when I was in my thirties, convinced I needed to be more mature in my life choices. If I looked even further back—myself at twenty, examining my teenage life—the desire for maturity already existed. Despite learning intentionally from my life experiences and striving to “be my true self,” the results were painfully consistent.

Perhaps history has proven that looking inwardly, and listening to my heart, might not necessarily be the wisest or most robust way to mature into being.

And so here lie the big questions:

Who am I? What is my identity? What is my true self? How does one explore this idea of “being one’s true self”?

As a pilgrim, unsure of what the pilgrimage holds for me, I would like to share five ideas I’ve integrated from authors and coaches I have interacted with. I credit Brene Brown, Tim Keller, Peter Block, James Clear, and Marcus Marsden for the insights they bring through their books and podcasts. The five areas are interconnected but presented distinctly. I hope these five ideas might meet those on a similar journey, and invite refreshed perspectives and new considerations.

(1) Label

Identity is a label that gives us a way to think, feel, and behave in a particular context. I can be a father, a son, a worker, a leader, a Singaporean, etc, and these roles can exist simultaneously.

Have you noticed how you usually introduce yourself to others?
What Is the default way you introduce yourself?
Have you noticed that your self-introduction is the "label" you have put on yourself?

You might find this a familiar process - multiple attempts of rehashing your self-introduction, verbally or in written form. This process makes us wonder - “How do I want to be known?”

An identity crisis can happen when we discover that the predominant label we give to ourselves is no longer relevant. For example, if I brand myself as a Marketing Director in both work and social settings, losing that job might create a sudden dissonance. The way I introduce myself to others now needs to be different. That can be disorienting.

Sometimes, not knowing how to engage an audience from an identity standpoint can lead to awkwardness. Awkwardness is the emotion made apparent when one does not know the identity to engage appropriately in a given context. The context could be a first date. It could be interacting with someone from a very different social status. Knowing our true self requires the skill of discernment - understanding (the hat to wear, the role to play) to engage effectively and authentically in a given context.

A suggestion is to practice introducing yourself in new ways. Notice your ability to describe yourself authentically and comfortably.

(2) Belonging

Our identity is often rooted in our sense of belonging. It is naming a community we belong to. I am a Singaporean. I am a student of XYZ school. I am an employee of company ABC. I am a member of a particular religious organization. I am a supporter of BCM football club. Wherever I go, I carry these associations—these identities—within me. We connect ourselves to people in these communities of belonging. Some called these communities their “tribes”. This identity helps me to understand with whom I can have solidarity, and with whom I might have conflict. The stronger the sense of belonging, the stronger I feel about my identity.

The key questions to answer:
- What are the communities I will identify myself with? What tribe do I belong to?
- What are the values I embody by being part of these communities?

Knowing our true self means naming the communities to which we belong. When we do so, we shape our values and boundaries in alignment with these communities.

(3) Human Operating System

Our identity is grounded when we have clarity of our human operating system. Essentially, the human operating system is a recurring set of thinking, emotional, behavioral, and conversational habits shaped by and exercised in our aggregated life experiences. We derive our strengths, motivations, fears, and emotional triggers from these habits.

Profiling tools are popular for this reason—they help to give people a sense of themselves through the data received. Across the world, coaches use profiling tools to help people derive the language to describe the human operating system. As a coach, I often use the CliftonStrengths profiling tool.

Knowing our true self means understanding our human operating system.
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
- What motivates and drives me even when no one is looking?
- What are my deep fears and insecurities that I have to overcome regularly?
- What are my boundaries? What kind of behavior by others will trigger me to react?

Answering these questions helps us to be more grounded.

A side note: we often get into situations where we are required to think, feel and behave unnaturally, as part of the adaptive process. This is usually evident when we pursue growth and expansion of Self.
For example - a more introverted person is required to be more assertive in a particular work context. Those with a fixed mindset might have internal thoughts that shout out “This is not me”. Those with a growth mindset embrace the discomfort as part of their growth.

(4) Core Sense of Self - Values

Our identity is grounded when we understand the Core Sense of Self. The core is the unchanging self across multiple contexts. This core is a set of values and beliefs that remain constant and true of us in every setting. Some might describe them as convictions. I found this model by Marcus Marsden helpful in deepening my understanding.

The outermost layer constitutes my preferences. These include my desire to visit Japan for a holiday or have chicken rice weekly for lunch.

The next layer contains my duties and best practices. These include my duties as a citizen of Singapore, my daily routines and practices such as swimming three times a week and going for a walk after dinner.

The third layer houses my principles - doing what I have promised others, being humble and courageous to admit my mistakes, giving my best effort even when no one sees what I do and actively forgiving those who have hurt me.

The innermost layer is where my core convictions reside - loving God wholeheartedly and joyfully as a Christian, loving and serving my wife and children sacrificially.

Knowing our true self means naming and knowing what we might put into each of these circles, especially the third and innermost layers. The Core Sense of Self is derived from understanding what we consciously hold as our principles (third layer) and our convictions (the innermost layer).

(5) Sense of Worth

Finally, our identity is grounded when we know our Sense of Worth. This sense of worth imbues us with significance and creates our value in society. It is an assessment we hold, one that we build from a young age. The sense of worth comes from having a deep sense of being loved and accepted. Love and acceptance from our family and community play a strong part in cultivating a sense of worth. The stronger our sense of worth, the more confident and grounded we become.

As a coach, I observe that this is an area of struggle for many. Growing up, we often suffer trauma that diminishes our sense of worth. For some, the trauma comes from experiencing family brokenness. For some, the trauma comes from labels - stupid, slow, fat, or ugly, just to name a few. For some, the trauma comes from abuse.

The sense of worth can be severely impacted because of the shame we experienced in our childhood. We struggle to accept ourselves. We act out of our insecurities. We retaliate. We bully. We blame. We manipulate. Deep down, we feel fragile. We struggle with self-acceptance. We choose to self-protect to avoid getting hurt.

Author Brene Brown calls the act of self-protection “armouring”. When we start to practice armouring, our identity becomes a blur and we struggle to get a good grasp of our self-worth.

Knowing our true self is an intentional process of deepening our sense of worth. For many, this process becomes a spiritual journey. Some seek to follow a Higher Being. Some seek spiritual practices. I started seeking spiritual growth when I was around 17 years old. In my brokenness, I saw a void that needed to be filled. I eventually decided to follow Christ after being touched and convinced by His love and His ways. 

Seeking a sense of worth is not the same journey for everyone. For me, the result of following Christ helps me experience the sense of being loved and accepted. The ongoing learning process includes (but is not limited to) opening up my heart to love and receive love despite the risk of getting hurt. Instead of practicing armouring, I choose to practice vulnerability (with wisdom). I learn to exercise self-compassion and seek forgiveness when I make mistakes. I learn to practice accountability in how I live my life. I learn to exercise humility (not overplaying or downplaying our significance). As I grow and make progress, I learn to practice empathy and compassion towards others. So being my true self means to imitate the life of Christ and to live out the identity bestowed.

Back to the question: Who am I? What is my true self?

Rather than just a vague act of looking within, I hope these five alternative ideas provide a deeper framework to explore this philosophical question. Let me know if you’ve practiced or come across other ideas too—I will be glad to learn.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

(Updated) A Guide: Using CliftonStrengths at Work

One of the most common questions I get after a CliftonStrengths workshop is:

What’s next? How can I use my strengths more effectively at work?

I'm writing this article to highlight three key areas where you can leverage your strengths.

(1) Performance Management: expanding our effectiveness at work

In performance conversations, we often explore the areas we do well and the possible obstacles to achieving performance. Such discussions often highlight our negative behaviors and whether we are self-aware.

Applying our CliftonStrengths Themes is about applying self-awareness as a practice. 

The practice is to notice the patterns in our lives and make the needed adjustments to achieve what we want. This practice requires us to examine our past experiences to identify the patterns and the results.

In my coaching conversations, some examples of behavioral patterns that came up include:

1. Saying a lot of “Yes” to others

2. Drifting off-topic in discussions and not being concise

3. Shifting goalposts, making it hard for others to be in alignment

4. Leaving decisions till the last minute, putting others under tighter deadlines unnecessarily.

The list goes on. 

Applying our CliftonStrengths themes in performance management is to be aware of how our dominant themes show up in helpful ways and not so helpful ways. When our dominant strengths show up in not so helpful ways, they become hindrances to our work performance.

An example:
Jackson, who has the Connectedness theme, enjoys seeing connections between different ideas and experiences. He believes in better outcomes when people connect the dots and import learnings from past experiences. 

He started to notice that more and more people were giving feedback on his communication. “What’s the point you are trying to make?; I am not sure of the connection between these two incidents that you have just shared; You tend to talk about stuff that seems unrelated to the agenda and our meetings overrun.”

Realizing that his Connectedness theme was hindering his communication effectiveness, Jackson started practicing holding back instead of the tendency to verbalize connections that came to his mind. He saw that his communication was confusing others and decided to make adjustments. Jackson has since learned to communicate by giving context to his shared example or declaring his key point before sharing the connection. By doing so, he expands his ability to communicate clearly and improves his performance as a manager.

(2) Relationship Building: improving our social effectiveness 

In relationship building, one critical factor is the level of trust forged between the parties. Applying CliftonStrengths in relationship building is to regulate the behaviors that will hinder trust building. One of the critical skills in trust-building work is how well we listen to others. Behaviors such as interrupting conversations, jumping quickly to conclusions, etc, show a lack of listening. These behaviors diminish trust.

An example:
Asher, who has the Strategic theme, sees his recurring pattern of seeking more efficient ways to achieve the desired outcomes.

He noticed he gets impatient in meetings because he already sees the solutions to the problems raised when others are still clarifying the issues. His impatience caused him to multitask and attend to other matters while his colleagues were still discussing. He also noticed his tendency to interrupt conversations to stop others from “wasting time” in meetings. These observations came after he received different feedback from colleagues that others have been irritated by his behaviors. They perceived that he did not care and respect others.

Realizing that it could be his Strategic theme that is hindering him from building trusting relationships, Asher practiced turning down his Strategic theme and turning up his Input theme instead. He consciously aims to be curious by using his Input theme rather than be quick to judge. The adjustments helped him to slow down and to show care. That started the process of rebuilding the trust of others in the team.

ARTICLE:
CliftonStrengths Complementary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairings

(3) Collaboration: improving our communication effectiveness

In collaborative work, we often need to coordinate between different stakeholders. Effective communication is one of the crucial factors in driving good collaboration. Applying CliftonStrengths in communication starts with recognizing our own needs and the needs of other stakeholders. Each CliftonStrengths theme has specific needs. When the different needs are met, communication flows naturally. Coordination work becomes more effective. 

An example:
Julia, who has the Context theme, sees her recurring pattern of seeking background information and asking “how things came about”. To her, background information helps produce better quality thinking and eventually, decisions. However, she noticed that her teammates prefer to jump into problem-solving mode. She notices their tendency to quickly explore different solutions before understanding the real issue. That has often made her frustrated during meetings. Julia realized her needs from her Context theme were not met.

After exploring with her coach, she made adjustments by learning to articulate her need for background information to other team members. She is now intentional in making specific requests to acquire quick updates on background information or historical data before any solutions work.

The team has since felt a significant difference in results whenever Julia contributes. She asks good questions and brings fresh perspectives. The team now leverages her Context theme for more robust thinking and quality outcomes. 

In summary, applying CliftonStrengths is learning to dial up our behavioral patterns in situations that will get us positive outcomes and dial down in situations that will create negative impacts. 

The three basic but crucial steps to get there:

(1) Get clarity and understanding of our dominant CliftonStrengths themes and how these themes show up at work. Getting feedback from team members in this area is helpful to get this clarity.

(2) Notice the recurring patterns of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior by reflecting on our past experiences. This includes reflecting about when we feel energized during work, when we get triggered etc.

(3) Intentionally aim these recurring patterns towards our desired outcomes by making adjustments to our behaviors

Ultimately, applying CliftonStrengths in all aspects of work, such as performance management, relationship building, and collaboration, can lead to personal and professional growth. It involves recognizing and leveraging our dominant themes to improve self-awareness, build trust, and enhance communication. By consciously practicing to adjust our behaviors and tendencies associated with our CliftonStrengths, we can create a more effective and harmonious work environment while maximizing our individual potential.

ARTICLE: 8 Things to Know About CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

8 Reasons to use CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) for Team Building

Since 2015, there has been a great increase in the number of companies in Singapore and across Southeast Asia enquiring about the CliftonStrengths (formerly Gallup StrengthsFinder) Team Building Program. Since 2021, the CliftonStrengths Profiling has been taken over 30 million times globally.

This article is written especially for Team Leaders and those in Human Resource, who are regularly looking out for team building programs that can be beneficial to their team and organization.

Based on past experience and participants' feedback from over hundreds of CliftonStrengths workshops I have conducted, I am giving 8 reasons on why a CliftonStrengths workshop could just be the ideal Team Building Program that a team or an organization should consider. 

1. It's incredibly uplifting!

How often do people have the opportunity to hear the good things that other colleagues have to say about their own strengths?

Leveraging on the Strengths Language which is derived from the field of positive psychology, conversations that take place build up the morale of the team. The conversations in the workshop revolved around what is right with people rather than what is wrong. In many work cultures where affirmations and encouragements are in deficit, team members received a much needed morale boost. The overall morale of a team has been observed to be greatly heightened after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop. 

2. All new partnerships start with a Conversation

It begins with a conversation. As cliche as it sounds, new partnerships can be formed from having a conversation on how different strengths complement. It is one thing to discover why certain people work well together. It is another to intentionally build partnerships that revolve around different strengths that complement. One of the most powerful segments during an interactive workshop is called “getting the best of me”. It is so important to hear from our colleagues how they feel they can bring out their best at work and what support they need from the team.

3. Knowledge-Based Learning

Most team building activities are interactive and fun in nature and CliftonStrengths workshops are no different. One thing that stands out about a CliftonStrengths Team building workshop is that extra dimension of knowledge-based learning, especially in facilitating self-awareness and in gaining data to understand other colleagues. This is usually missing from the usual one-off team building cooking, art-jamming session or a laser quest mission.

A well facilitated CliftonStrengths workshop empowers and equips participants with practical handles on how to move forward with the knowledge gained. These handles allow the different team members to build on the positive energy gained from the workshop. Feedback from many participants have demonstrated that the strengths conversations that took place after the Strengthsfinder workshop usually transmit into greater synergy in the workplace.

4. Increase in An Individual's Self-Confidence and Self-Awareness

A well facilitated CliftonStrengths session is not only fun but participants leave with a greater level of self-awareness. By learning how they think, feel and behave in unique ways that are very different from their colleagues, participants have commented that the insights can help them in designing interventions for professional development. The knowledge gained from understanding their own strengths and the strengths of their colleagues gives people a renewed sense of confidence in themselves as well as for the team.

5. Understand How Strengths Cause Conflicts

A CliftonStrengths team building workshop helps participants understand how certain strengths among team members can clash and turn into potential conflicts. For example, a CliftonStrengths theme of Harmony prefers emotional efficiency while the theme of Strategic prefers operational efficiency. Harmony believes work gets done faster without the conflicts that suck up more emotional energy of the team. Strategic believes that efficiency lies in cutting down unnecessary steps even if the process has been established and executed in the past. 

Such understanding and awareness usually helps people to realize how certain conflicts are non-personal in nature and is really a result of different perspectives. A CliftonStrengths workshop can provide participants with very effective handles on how to manage and resolve conflicts that happen in teams.

READ: Using CliftonStrengths to Resolve Conflicts

6. A Long Term Strategic Investment

A CliftonStrengths team building workshop is a long term strategic investment for companies as compared to one-off bonding sessions. Strategies to manage teams can become more customized because of the strengths data and hence more productive. Out of knowing different strengths of the team members, strategies devised can be more targeted especially in complex work environments.

It is often observed that after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop, many leaders take up the follow-up recommendation to receive individualized coaching. Often the purpose of the coaching session is to learn more about how to leverage the different strengths of the team members to grow team performances. This is one opportunity that can be captured after a CliftonStrengths team building workshop.

7. A Practical Alternative for DIVERSE Groups

A CliftonStrengths session provides a strong and practical alternative whenever a team building exercise needs to be catered to participants of a wide age range (or with vastly different physical fitness levels). The workshops usually take place indoors. While the activities are interactive and fun, they are not physical in nature and do not require any additional insurance liability coverage. 

8. Understanding Human Relationships

The most common feedback from participants who attended the CliftonStrengths Team Building Workshops come down to understanding human relationships. "You learn to withhold your judgement because you now see a person for who they are and you learn to accept them”.

This is immensely transforming for any kind of human relationship!

 

Some Testimonials from TEAM Leaders

“Victor has been a very professional coach, walking with us patiently through our CliftonStrengths results. It was a fun and interactive team building workshop and we are glad to find out our individual strengths through this workshop. Thank you Victor!
Chloe Teo | Senior Director, Enterprise Clients | Colliers International

"The StrengthsFinder workshop went down very well with everyone and it struck me that was a near-perfect and flawless session. The session was very balanced, well-paced and well-organized. The session was peppered with personal (and often hilarious) anecdotes that the team found to be very helpful and relevant. Personally, understanding my own strengths and those of my team has helped to make sense of some of the behaviours from my team members and myself and caused me to make adjustments to some of the ways I interact with my team."
Wong Rin Rin | Former Legal Director & Associate General Counsel, Asia Pacific (MNC)

"The StrengthsFinder workshop was excellent and the feedback from all the team members was that it was one of the most valuable workshops they have been a part of. The concepts and team exercises certainly helped the teams to grasp the strength-based thinking, as well as enabled the team leads to get a closer view of their team dynamics, diversity and strengths." 
Saurabh Mandal | Head – Supply Chain (MNC)

"As a Team Leader, I benefitted from understanding the team’s strengths and am glad that the team bonded from the workshop. The team really enjoyed the session. I will recommend this workshop to the other departments. It is beneficial to our personal lives as well as professional lives. Great job!"
Corrine Ee | Head of Distribution (MNC)

"The greatest benefit for me was to understand and start appreciating different talents of different individuals. That enables me to work better towards common goals. I find this workshop interactive, comprehensive and lively! I rate this workshop a 10/10!"
Michael Wu | Chief Financial Officer (MNC)

"This workshop helped me understand the team differences and what makes each person unique and what we have in common. I think this leadership program is a great one and I highly recommend it for leaders & teams."
Richa Goswami | Head of Digital, Asia Pacific (MNC)

How do I run the CliftonStrengths Team Workshop Programs?

Fun & Interactive, focusing on team DYNAMICS, TRUST BUILDING and EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

8 things to know about CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains

As a CliftonStrengths coach, whenever I facilitate leadership workshops across Singapore and Asia, I often get asked many questions about the CliftonStrengths profiling tool. One of the most common questions I've been asked has to do with the four domains of Leadership strengths. What do the domains mean and how should individuals interpret their CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) results based on the domains?

This article is written as a resource with the hope of answering some of the common questions asked. This article contains my own opinions as a Gallup Certified Coach, gathered from my training, facilitation and coaching experiences accumulated. Please feel free to check out some of the workshops I have conducted in this Portfolio.

Two key things to note as you read this article.
(1) CliftonStrengths is commonly positioned as a developmental tool and used by managers and coaches in a variety of ways.
(2) Similar to each of the CliftonStrengths assessment results, the way to interpret and understand a person's domain is uniquely individualized.

1. What are the CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) Leadership Domains about?

Each of the 34 CliftonStrengths Talent Themes are categorized under four different domains, namely Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building and Strategic Thinking. These four domains are categorized by Gallup as a reference and for a different perspective on how the talent themes can be interpreted. The categories work more like a signpost and a guide. The different talent themes are surveyed and categorized in one of the four domains. The key idea is this: the type of activities linked to the particular domain will be the type of activities that the talent theme will most likely thrive in. 

2. What is one common misconception that people have about the domains?

In my experience (as a Gallup Certified Coach), one of the most common misconceptions is people believe that a particular theme can only excel in the domain it is categorized in. This is definitely untrue. The categorization of the domains in no way suggests that a particular talent theme will not be able to function well in another domain. It is by no means exclusive. For example, the Learner theme, which is categorized under the Strategic Thinking domain, is often used to build relationships. Learners are curious. They use their curiosity to discover what makes their friends tick and what makes them upset. Learners are also curious to find out how they can strengthen their relationships with people from different communities. 

The categorization of the domains simply highlights the area in which each talent theme can manifest its greatest impact when rightly engaged. When we subscribe to the common misconception, we will often believe an internal voice in our head: "Oh no, I do not have any strengths (in this domain)!" This deficit mindset causes the knowledge of the domains to be disempowering rather than empowering. 

One of the most common thinking traps that Corporate Leaders fall into is this idea that "I need more people with Influencing Strengths". This is usually the instinctive response when a Team Leader begins to analyze the Team Strengths. Some even go as far as to comment that they need to hire people with specific influencing strengths (which are rare to come across). I usually have to spend time coaching the team leaders and help them understand how to develop their staff to leverage their non-influencing domain strengths to hit the objectives of influencing others.   

Article: A Manager’s Guide to Leverage Team’s Strengths

3. How are the talent themes categorized and what does each domain mean?

The CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) Talent Themes that are categorized in the Executing domain include Achiever, Arranger, Belief, Consistency, Deliberative, Discipline, Focus, Responsibility and Restorative. You can read more specifically about any of the talent themes in the 34 CliftonStrengths theme articles I have written.

When your talent themes are largely Executing in nature, it means you are someone who often intuitively wants to get things done and finish tasks successfully. The structure, system, budget, processes, timeline and rules are usually areas you are concerned about. While you might be often thought of as being task-oriented, people who work with you know that you can be highly depended on to get things done. 

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Strategic Thinking domain include Analytical, Context, Futuristic, Ideation, Input, Intellection, Learner and Strategic.

When your talent themes are mostly Strategic Thinking in nature, it means you are someone who loves thinking. Your playground is in your mind. Facts, data, concepts, ideas, strategies, dreams, and having a big picture are often areas that are of concern to you. You need to know the purpose behind a plan. You enjoy opportunities to create new strategies and explore ideas and meaning. You need room to imagine, and you need your mind to be engaged. People who work with you know that you are often a source of wisdom, counsel and ideas because of your agile mind. 

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Influencing domain include Activator, Command, Communication, Competition, Maximizer, Significance, Self-Assurance and Woo.

When your talent themes are largely Influencing in nature, it means you are someone who wants to rally people towards a particular direction. People see you as someone with lots of energy. You are more likely to be perceived as an extrovert than introvert. You are concerned with motivating others, persuading others to take action, and pushing others towards breakthrough. The freedom to speak out, freedom to act, and freedom to make changes are often areas you are concerned with. People who work with you know that you are passionate when it comes to inspiring and rallying others for a cause. The Influencing talent themes are rarer (statistically) compared to others. It is extremely rare to find someone with all their 5 top strengths in this domain. I had the privilege of conducting an interview with Singaporean, Joey Ong, who is one of the few rare ones in the world who have such a combination.

Article: StrengthsFinder interview article on Joey Ong.

The CliftonStrengths Talent Themes that are categorized in the Relationship Building domain include Adaptability, Connectedness, Developer, Empathy, Harmony, Includer, Individualization, Relator and Positivity. 

When your strengths are largely relationship building in nature, it means you are someone who often wants to show care and concern to others, often through an emotional connection. People see you as someone who cares. You send the message that human relationships triumph over everything. You are concerned with authenticity, encouragement, listening to the unvoiced, and ensuring no one is left out. Hearing the hearts of people, feeling their emotions and connecting to communities are often areas you are concerned with. People who work with you know that you are well aware of the human needs of people and you are highly sensitive to them. I found a unique pair of Singaporean siblings who both had the same five strengths (in different order) and interestingly, all five of their strengths fall in the relationship building domain.

4. How do the CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains affect people and tasks?

In my personal opinion, we can also divide the four CliftonStrengths Leadership domains into two general categories - task-oriented or people-oriented. Strategic Thinking and Executing strengths are primarily task-oriented. It isn't the case that they do not care about relationships—only that they enjoy finishing the tasks at hand and they leverage the different tasks to build relationships with others.  The Influencing and Relationship Building strengths are primarily people-oriented. For these two domains, it's not that the task is unimportant, only that the tasks are completed because they give meaning to the relationships that exist. Simply put, their motivation to complete the tasks comes from the relationships they are building.

5. Why is it important to understand the CliftonStrengths Leadership Domains?

Domains help us to understand strengths from another angle. It is discovered that a well-rounded team with a representation of talent themes in each of these four domains often have valuable contributions that lead to high levels of performance. In the Strengths-Based Leadership philosophy, it is often taught that individuals need not be well-rounded, but teams should be.

As individuals, by understanding our dominant domains (the domain that most of our strengths lie in), we can understand the kind of tasks we are likely to excel in. We become aware of our biggest contributions to the team we are in. This knowledge also helps us to seek complementary partnerships. We can seek partners to leverage and strengthen the domains we are not so dominant in. Understanding domains also gives us an idea of how we usually impose ourselves on others (often without much awareness) - through the lenses of the domain filters. This understanding allows us to have greater self-awareness and help us regulate our behaviors when it comes to working in a team. Understanding domains thus opens up new possibilities for us to grow our talents into strengths. Domains also allow a team to know from another perspective the areas it needs to watch out for in terms of its most competitive edge and its weakest link.  

6. What does it mean when a person's strengths are dominant in a particular domain?

It essentially means that the tasks and scope of work in that particular domain will be the individual's greatest value-add to any team or community that they are in. These people will often feel most engaged when they contribute in their strongest domain (provided that their contributions are also appreciated by the team). A team leader would do well to take note of such a great value that exists in the team, and intentionally create opportunities that can leverage and maximize this person’s unique contribution.

Team Leaders should also note that the reverse is true. When someone whose strengths dominate a particular domain but feel that the tasks and responsibilities given do not give opportunities for the strengths to be sufficiently-engaged, then this individual is likely to become disengaged over time. Team Leaders will do well to intervene and make quick and necessary adjustments.

Article: Emotional Intelligence and CliftonStrengths

7. What if an individual's strengths are evenly spread out among all the domains?

There is no cause for alarm. Firstly, this person can give different perspectives (spanning across all domains) without overweighing a particular area. This person's views will tend towards being a more "balanced" one and that is a great value-add to any team. Most people usually overweigh their judgements in a particular domain. 

8. What are some things I should watch out for if I am very strong in one particular domain?

In my personal opinion (as a Gallup Certified Coach), there are a few points to be noted:

• The perspectives in that particular domain can be extremely strong. Any job that does not strongly engage the strengths in that domain can easily lead to the person becoming disillusioned. For people who have 4 or 5 of their dominant themes in one particular StrengthsFinder domain, they need to be quite selective in the job they are in. Regular check-ins with the manager is helpful to ensure sufficient engagement.

• A person who dominates a particular domain needs to form good partnerships with others who are strong in the other domains. (For example, as a person high in influencing and executing, I intentionally surround myself with people high in Empathy, Positivity, Harmony. I do so to grow my relational skills as well as to leverage their unique insights and perspectives to grow my strengths). Strong partnerships can be formed by operating in humility and being very conscious of the need to be interdependent. By being very open to the perspectives of others (especially in the weaker domains), blind spots can be uncovered. This naturally gives the individual a greater chance of success as he or she focuses on strengths and manages weaknesses.

• A person needs to have a deep sense of security about themselves. Unfortunately, what usually becomes the talking point among others are usually the domains that an individual lacks rather than the one that individual is strong in. We live in a world filled with people who look more at the bad rather than the good (I believe this mindset can be changed, but I’m just being a little realistic here.)

• While I believe strongly that #EveryoneNeedsAcoach, I would strongly advise a person with very dominant strengths in one domain to find a personal coach or mentor who understands how to bring out the best in him/her.

Concluding Thoughts: This topic on the CliftonStrengths Leadership domains remains one of the most important areas to be understood, especially for Managers and Team Leaders. In a very competitive business environment, the leader who can strongly leverage on the unique contributions of each team member is the one who can lead a team to perform at a very high level. Gallup's research has shown that it is the role of the manager to have the wisdom and understanding to create such a culture. I strongly believe this to be true.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

CliftonStrengths: Complementary Partnerships Through Unlikely Pairings - Part 2

This is part 2 of Complimentary partnerships through the unlikely pairs of the CliftonStrengths themes.

The key question asked from the first article was:
“How can people with very different strengths work together?”

I’m attempting to answer the question by examining the polarities that I derive from the unlikely pairs from the list of CliftonStrengths 34 themes. From Gallup’s research data, the unlikely theme pairings which bring insights into polarities are: 


1. Deliberative - Woo;
2. Developer - Command; 
3. Empathy - Self Assurance; 
4. Discipline - Ideation; 
5. Harmony - Strategic; 
6. Maximizer - Restorative; 
7. Positivity - Deliberative. 

READ: Part 1 of Complimentary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairs

In this part 2, I will be touching from the fourth to the last pair. I will share my observations of how each theme within the pair has contrasting thinking, feeling and behavioural patterns. I will attempt to name the polarity so that we get an idea why these pairings can be powerfully complementary. Again, these are my own personal views as a coach based in Singapore.

4. Discipline and Ideation

People with Discipline require their world to be predictable. They set up routines and they need precision. They like things to be in order and planned. The need for structure often means they prefer to work within the box and not be taken by surprises. People with Ideation, on the contrary, enjoy newness and seeing things fresh. They are energized by out-of-the-box ideas. Innovative solutions are new perspectives developed on familiar challenges. They are often easily bored by routines and enjoy going beyond previously set parameters to develop fresh ideas and perspectives.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for stability AND change. Often, the routines bring a sense of predictability, which in turn, bring a sense of stability and safety. In a country like Singapore where survival is often a key narrative, stability at work is a need that workers require. On the other hand, what workers need and what businesses want creates the tension. Businesses need constant change and innovation to adapt to the dynamic business landscape. People with Ideation brings innovation and fresh perspectives. Leveraging this polarity helps to create a needed dynamic critical to building high performance teams.

5. Harmony and Strategic

People with the Harmony theme look for areas of agreement and consensus. They instinctively listen out for shared points of views. They prefer to help team members find common ground and have a preference for emotional efficiency, even if it means going on a longer route together. The journey towards camaraderie is often more valued than output efficiency. People with Strategic, on the other hand, prefer operational efficiency and having speed. Finding shortcuts is in the DNA. The results are often more valued than the team building process. They seek the path of least resistance and are prepared to rock the boat if they assess that a new path might bring greater results.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for emotional efficiency AND the need for output efficiency. To build a sense of togetherness, there is often the need for alignment through some levels of consensus building. Moving too fast without team alignment creates conflicts which in turn creates an emotional state that can be detrimental to team performance. Having the right level of emotional efficiency is helpful.
On the other hand, in the fast moving world of businesses, there is also a need for output efficiency and getting results. Leveraging this partnership allows for constructive exchanges on when it is critical to get buy-in from the team and when it is necessary to act efficiently and with speed to achieve the required outcomes. Leveraging this polarity creates more respect for each other and ultimately creates a stronger bond within the team. .

6. Maximizer and Restorative

People with the Maximizer theme see their world through the lens of excellence and beauty. They dislike mediocrity and being average. To a Maximizer, fixing something that is broken is akin to taking something from below average to average. That process takes a great deal of effort and often does not bring quality results. Maximizer prefers to focus on strengths to enhance quality and create high performance. On the other hand, people with Restorative love to solve problems. They see the world as a broken world and the world can be a better place by solving one problem at a time. Statistically, this pair is also the most unlikely to appear together in an individual’s top 5.

What does this partnership bring out? 

The named polarity here is Exceeding Expectations AND Meeting Expectations. Customers are constantly looking for higher levels of quality in products and services and making comparisons. Customers are also ready to complain if the products and services are not up to the committed standards. Leveraging this polarity allows for the delivery of strong business results.

Another possible polarity is building on strengths AND managing weaknesses. Leaders have often seen how a non-performing member pulls down the overall team performance and morale. Managing the weaknesses of team members is part of a key process to build high performance teams. Yet, self-actualization is a powerful driver. The ability to achieve excellence through focusing on our strengths is greatly desired. This polarity creates a powerful partnership in the people development space.

7. Positivity and Deliberative

People with Positivity are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in any situation. They have the desire to keep environments lighthearted and look to inject vitality and life into areas that feel dead and lifeless. People with Deliberative on the other hand are always on the lookout for danger and what might go wrong. They believe that life is better when expectations are managed well and precautions are well taken. 

What does this partnership bring out? 

The named polarity here is being optimistic AND realistic. Having an optimistic mindset helps us to have lightness in our approach at work. People with Positivity often draws on this lightness to spread the positive energy around. When team members catch on the positive energy, there are more laughter, a greater sense of psychological safety and more effective collaboration. In times of setback, the positive energy empowers the team to be resilient. On the other hand, having the realistic mindset helps the Deliberative to actively anticipate challenges that might derail the team’s efforts. The realistic mindset often carries a sense of burden which in turn, creates a sharp focus on delivering results. Creating back up plans and planning for worst-case scenarios are the norm.

Leveraging this polarity creates the ability to draw on the lightness to create a positive team spirit and the operational prowess of burden to create focus.

In conclusion: the above examples illustrate how many of the CliftonStrengths themes can be powerfully leveraged. The conflicts in perspectives between the different themes are not problems to be solved. They should be seen as perspectives to be leveraged. Leveraging these polarities can help teams and businesses thrive in this VUCA world.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

CliftonStrengths: Complementary Partnership Through Unlikely Pairings

As a CliftonStrengths Coach based in Singapore, one of the questions I’m often asked during workshops or coaching sessions is “how can people with very different strengths work together?”

As I listen to the deeper concerns, I discovered two common struggles. First, there are those who struggle with certain individuals in tension-filled relationships and wondering if the conflicts are a result of “opposite strengths”.

Second, some people saw the deficit in their decision making outcomes. There is a tendency to be over focused on one side of the coin to the neglect of another. It is a bias that surface regularly in decision making. Increasingly, polarity management is gaining traction in organisational development.

Polarities are interdependent opposites and each dimension is needed for the healthy functioning of the system. There is a necessity of both dimensions. Central to the idea of a polarity is the expectation that each opposite dimension will have an impact on the system. Having one but not the other creates issues within the system. From this point of view, the complementary partnerships of people with opposite strengths, are very powerful in bringing better business outcomes.

Taking a step back, you might be now wondering: “What are strengths that are considered to be very different?”

There are multiple ways of answering this question. I approach this from a coaching lens. Through some research data published by Gallup, I discovered that there are some CliftonStrengths talent themes that are very unlikely to be paired together in an individual’s top 5 strengths results. From Gallup’s data, these unlikely pairings are:

1. Deliberative - Woo
2. Developer - Command
3. Empathy - Self Assurance
4. Discipline - Ideation
5. Harmony - Strategic
6. Maximizer - Restorative
7. Positivity - Deliberative

So how can people with very different strengths work together?
In this article, I will be touching on the first three pairings to explore this question. These are my own personal views as a professional executive coach.

1. Deliberative and Woo

People with Deliberative are quite private in nature, selective about those they allow into their inner circle and preferring quality over quantity. They are very careful in the way they use social media and doing  networking online in the digital world today. They are often very aware of the dangers in the social media online space. Those with Woo are considered to be socially adventurous. They love meeting strangers because they see it as an opportunity to make new friends. They tend to enjoy playful banter, as it helps them build rapport quickly. They are likely to initiate in reaching out to others to build a greater network of contacts, aware of the power of leveraging relationships in the social media space today. This is probably the reason for the unlikely pairing in the two talent themes. When you speak to two different individuals, a Deliberative and a Woo, it is fairly common to observe some distinct differences in perspectives.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the human need for protection AND connection. There is both the need to create strong personal boundaries and strong social connections. In work partnerships, Woo brings the perspectives and learnings of leveraging connections for business development, job search and ideas exchange. Deliberative brings the learnings and perspectives on risk assessment. That means learning how to spot scams, guard against wrongdoings within and out of the system. Deliberative can also share perspectives about the danger of being overly vulnerable and friendly.

2. Developer and Command

People with the Developer theme tend to be perceived as nurturing and patient while those with Command can come across with a colder and more intimidating presence. In terms of people development, Developer enjoys encouraging people to take baby steps in facing challenges. The Developer celebrates every growth and milestone. Command enjoys challenging people to move out of their comfort zones and overcome their fears. While the development goals looked similar, the emotional journey can be in stark contrast. Another contrasting perspective is how each might look at results. Command tends to polarize and see results as either success (“you have overcome”) or failure (“you succumbed to your fears”). The Developer tends to focus on the growth and progress even with not so desirable results (“you did better than before, that is worth celebrating”).

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the need for Support AND the need for Challenge. Leveraging this partnership allows for constructive exchanges on when it is necessary to push people to overcome personal challenges and when to take a step back and give people some breathing space. This is a common tension seen in coaching, mentoring and teaching. Leveraging this polarity creates better results in the space of people development, talent retention and employee engagement.

READ: PART 2 of Complimentary Partnerships Through Unlikely Pairings

3. Empathy and Self Assurance

People with the Empathy theme tend to be others centered. They naturally want to put themselves in another person’s shoes in order to understand how that person is feeling. Their confidence come from their ability to connect deeply with others and being able to sense what others are feeling. In a rather contrasting fashion, those with the Self-Assurance theme build confidence by developing a keener sense of self. They rely a lot on their gut and have faith in their own strengths and judgments. Like an anchor of a ship, those with Self-Assurance can often withstand different kinds of pressure and they have a great self-belief that is often unwavering. The decision making process is very different for each side. Empathy often makes decisions based on meeting peoples’ needs and concerns. The sensing of peoples’ emotions (fears anxieties, hope and excitement etc) are key data points for decisions. Self-Assurance enjoys taking risks and decisions are often based on their personal gut feel and sensing about the situation. Decisions do not necessarily concern how others might be feeling.

What does this partnership bring out?

The named polarity here is the relying on Others as a resource AND relying on Self as a resource. When should one move ahead decisively and depend on the gut instinct? When should one choose to listen, gather data and sense the mood of the community? Leveraging the contrasting perspectives bring rich learnings and is crucial in a context of fast changing landscape with much unknowns.

In conclusion: the above examples illustrate how many of the CliftonStrengths themes can be powerfully leveraged. The conflicts in perspectives between the different themes are not problems to be solved. They should be seen as perspectives to be leveraged. Leveraging these polarities can help teams and businesses thrive in this VUCA world.

READ: Why Complementary Partnerships Do Not Always Work

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

Victor is an accredited ICF Advanced Certified Team Coach (ACTC) and Professional Certified Coach (PCC) based in Singapore. He is also a Newfield Certified Ontological Coach and CliftonStrengths Coach. Victor facilitates teams to leverage their collective strengths, get clear on ways of engagement and ways of working to strengthen team and interpersonal dynamics. Victor specializes in integrating strengths-based and ontological approach into his team coaching and leadership workshops. Victor is Director of Coaching and Leadership Development at StrengthsTransform™

Emotional Intelligence with CliftonStrengths

As a believer in the strengths-based approach, I have been integrating emotional intelligence with strengths intelligence as I continue my practice into the ontological approach to coaching. It is something I have been experimenting with over the past few years. This article explores how I have been integrating these two areas of human intelligence. Specifically, this article presents how I have used the CliftonStrengths profiling to enhance emotional intelligence.

If you google emotional intelligence, you will come across four components - self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. This article explores these four specific components of emotional intelligence.

Self-Awareness

In the context of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is the ability to see how our emotional states affect our daily living, such as our decision-making or our communication with others. It is the ability to know ourselves and understand our feelings.

For example, when we are in an emotional state of anger, we are predisposed to retaliate in words or actions. When we are in an emotional state of curiosity, we are predisposed to ask questions and gain new knowledge and understanding.

CliftonStrengths assessment can help individuals understand the likely emotional habits they might have built over time (albeit subconsciously).

Here are some examples:
1. Individuals with high Responsibility might have developed emotional habits such as anxiety, worry, fear, etc. They are predisposed to feeling burdened because of the responsibilities they carry. In Singapore, some with the Responsibility theme might be called a “kancheong spider” (a term to describe individuals often flustered while dealing with anxiety).

2. Using a combination of two CliftonStrengths themes: Individuals with both the Activator and Achiever primarily focus on getting things started and finishing tasks. They might be predisposed to developing the emotional habit of ambition and perhaps less likely to experience the emotional state of calmness or peace.

3. People with the Maximizer or Restorative are often viewed as “perfectionists”. They are less likely to declare satisfaction with the tasks they have completed. Things are often “not good enough”. They are less likely as well to experience peace.

Our emotional habits are often formed from our instincts to think, feel and behave.

As a coach, I feel that gaining this insight empowers individuals to have the choice of building new emotional habits to expand their human capacity and deepen their level of maturity. This knowledge helps individuals to build deeper self-awareness through the perspective of emotional habits. This knowledge also provides a more comprehensive understanding of themselves.

Self-Management

In the context of emotional intelligence, self-management is the ability to regulate our emotions in different situations and not let our emotions get the better of us. It is emotional regulation and self-control.

With the CliftonStrengths tool, knowing the basement (infancy) and balcony (mature) state of the CliftonStrengths themes empowers individuals to regulate their behaviors and actions. With knowledge of our basement and balcony state, we can more deliberately match our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to the different situations and contexts for effectiveness. The ability to regulate our behaviors helps us to be more emotionally intelligent.

E.g The basement state of the Harmony theme includes sweeping things under the carpet or keeping silent in the face of questionable behaviors, usually for fear of conflicts. When an individual intentionally regulates his behavior and grows towards a more mature or balcony state of Harmony, it is a hallmark of being emotionally intelligent.

Conversely, not developing the Harmony theme toward maturity might cause long-term negative consequences. As a coach, I often observe resentment surfacing when individuals remain in the basement state of Harmony. This emotional state of resentment often produces more harm for individuals and hinders their ability to do effective self-management.

An article on moods

Social Awareness

In the context of emotional intelligence, social awareness is the ability to identify the emotions of others and use that knowledge to demonstrate empathy, connect with others and be inclusive. It is about how we relate with others, especially with people who are very different. While some view diversity as a fact of life, the idea of “common sense” shows that people expect uniformity in behaviors.

CliftonStrengths helps in two ways.

Firstly, it provides data statistically to show the odds of two persons having the same five themes in the same order is 1 in 33 million. This data has often helped those who are data-driven to embrace the diversity of those they work with.

Secondly, the CliftonStrengths profiles and write-ups provide a language in how people with certain themes think, feel and behave differently. This means that individuals and leaders can now use the strengths language intentionally to relate and interact with others.

For example, a person with the Relator theme often prefers deep conversation in a one-to-one setting. When a leader intentionally sets up regular catch-ups with the Relator, with either party able to propose their agendas for discussions, trust builds up. The CliftonStrengths tool allows leaders to increase their emotional intelligence by customizing approaches that meet the needs of different individuals.

Relationship Management

In the context of emotional intelligence, relationship management is the ability to collaborate, build trust and manage interpersonal conflicts.

The CliftonStrengths tool helps individuals to identify their strengths and blindspots. When individuals do their inner work and uncover these blindspots, they can make more appropriate and productive social decisions in different situations.

For example, individuals with the Deliberative theme see that their unique lens is often that of risk assessment. They will take time to consider the different risks before they act. Making appropriate and productive decisions could include making timely requests to others. In working with others, they might make known their decision-making process and request adequate time and space to make a decision. This process allows them to be better collaborators. It is also a mark of demonstrating high emotional intelligence.

The CliftonStrengths tool also helps individuals manage conflicts by identifying how others think, feel, and need. For example, a frustrated Analytical person might have these thoughts. “Where is the proof? What reliable data do we have? To resolve the potential conflict, we have to understand an Analytical person needs to have different data points that can withstand scrutiny. Meeting the needs of those we work with will help us manage conflicts.

The CliftonStrengths profiles also reveal, through the different themes, how individuals need to tap into specific strengths that enhance emotional intelligence for a particular situation and downplay those that hinder emotional intelligence. When individuals do that intentionally, they can make more situationally appropriate social decisions and moves.

For example, when an individual with both Achiever and Learner questions why a colleague has not completed a given task, the Achiever is usually more judgmental while the Learner is more curious. Tuning up the Learner theme and tuning down the Achiever will probably help this individual make a more appropriate social response.

Ending note: As an ontological practitioner, I embrace the idea that humans perform better when they see their strengths and emotional habits as integrated. I am happy to report that coaching clients have given me feedback that this integrated approach has empowered them to gain clarity of their inner life and has given greater ownership towards transforming their lives.

Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command

As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observer of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.