As a CliftonStrengths Coach based in Singapore, one of the questions I’m often asked during workshops or coaching sessions is “how can people with very different strengths work together?”
As I listen to the deeper concerns, I discovered two common struggles. First, there are those who struggle with certain individuals in tension-filled relationships and wondering if the conflicts are a result of “opposite strengths”.
Second, some people saw the deficit in their decision making outcomes. There is a tendency to be over focused on one side of the coin to the neglect of another. It is a bias that surface regularly in decision making. Increasingly, polarity management is gaining traction in organisational development.
Polarities are interdependent opposites and each dimension is needed for the healthy functioning of the system. There is a necessity of both dimensions. Central to the idea of a polarity is the expectation that each opposite dimension will have an impact on the system. Having one but not the other creates issues within the system. From this point of view, the complementary partnerships of people with opposite strengths, are very powerful in bringing better business outcomes.
Taking a step back, you might be now wondering: “What are strengths that are considered to be very different?”
There are multiple ways of answering this question. I approach this from a coaching lens. Through some research data published by Gallup, I discovered that there are some CliftonStrengths talent themes that are very unlikely to be paired together in an individual’s top 5 strengths results. From Gallup’s data, these unlikely pairings are:
1. Deliberative - Woo
2. Developer - Command
3. Empathy - Self Assurance
4. Discipline - Ideation
5. Harmony - Strategic
6. Maximizer - Restorative
7. Positivity - Deliberative
So how can people with very different strengths work together?
In this article, I will be touching on the first three pairings to explore this question. These are my own personal views as a professional executive coach.
1. Deliberative and Woo
People with Deliberative are quite private in nature, selective about those they allow into their inner circle and preferring quality over quantity. They are very careful in the way they use social media and doing networking online in the digital world today. They are often very aware of the dangers in the social media online space. Those with Woo are considered to be socially adventurous. They love meeting strangers because they see it as an opportunity to make new friends. They tend to enjoy playful banter, as it helps them build rapport quickly. They are likely to initiate in reaching out to others to build a greater network of contacts, aware of the power of leveraging relationships in the social media space today. This is probably the reason for the unlikely pairing in the two talent themes. When you speak to two different individuals, a Deliberative and a Woo, it is fairly common to observe some distinct differences in perspectives.
What does this partnership bring out?
The named polarity here is the human need for protection AND connection. There is both the need to create strong personal boundaries and strong social connections. In work partnerships, Woo brings the perspectives and learnings of leveraging connections for business development, job search and ideas exchange. Deliberative brings the learnings and perspectives on risk assessment. That means learning how to spot scams, guard against wrongdoings within and out of the system. Deliberative can also share perspectives about the danger of being overly vulnerable and friendly.
2. Developer and Command
People with the Developer theme tend to be perceived as nurturing and patient while those with Command can come across with a colder and more intimidating presence. In terms of people development, Developer enjoys encouraging people to take baby steps in facing challenges. The Developer celebrates every growth and milestone. Command enjoys challenging people to move out of their comfort zones and overcome their fears. While the development goals looked similar, the emotional journey can be in stark contrast. Another contrasting perspective is how each might look at results. Command tends to polarize and see results as either success (“you have overcome”) or failure (“you succumbed to your fears”). The Developer tends to focus on the growth and progress even with not so desirable results (“you did better than before, that is worth celebrating”).
What does this partnership bring out?
The named polarity here is the need for Support AND the need for Challenge. Leveraging this partnership allows for constructive exchanges on when it is necessary to push people to overcome personal challenges and when to take a step back and give people some breathing space. This is a common tension seen in coaching, mentoring and teaching. Leveraging this polarity creates better results in the space of people development, talent retention and employee engagement.
3. Empathy and Self Assurance
People with the Empathy theme tend to be others centered. They naturally want to put themselves in another person’s shoes in order to understand how that person is feeling. Their confidence come from their ability to connect deeply with others and being able to sense what others are feeling. In a rather contrasting fashion, those with the Self-Assurance theme build confidence by developing a keener sense of self. They rely a lot on their gut and have faith in their own strengths and judgments. Like an anchor of a ship, those with Self-Assurance can often withstand different kinds of pressure and they have a great self-belief that is often unwavering. The decision making process is very different for each side. Empathy often makes decisions based on meeting peoples’ needs and concerns. The sensing of peoples’ emotions (fears anxieties, hope and excitement etc) are key data points for decisions. Self-Assurance enjoys taking risks and decisions are often based on their personal gut feel and sensing about the situation. Decisions do not necessarily concern how others might be feeling.
What does this partnership bring out?
The named polarity here is the relying on Others as a resource AND relying on Self as a resource. When should one move ahead decisively and depend on the gut instinct? When should one choose to listen, gather data and sense the mood of the community? Leveraging the contrasting perspectives bring rich learnings and is crucial in a context of fast changing landscape with much unknowns.
In conclusion: the above examples illustrate how many of the CliftonStrengths themes can be powerfully leveraged. The conflicts in perspectives between the different themes are not problems to be solved. They should be seen as perspectives to be leveraged. Leveraging these polarities can help teams and businesses thrive in this VUCA world.
Written by Victor Seet
Activator • Communication • Strategic • Self-Assurance • Command
As a Gallup and Newfield Certified Leadership Coach in Singapore, Victor is passionate about helping people be better observer of themselves to achieve the results they want, especially in the area of well-being and performance. Victor intentionally integrates the strengths-based and ontological approach into his leadership coaching and workshops.
